The thought of it is thrilling to most, to have more than one partner.
In Ceasar’s time Polyandry was quite prevalent along with homosexuality.
Polyandry for those who don’t know what it is, is a female having more than one partner for marriage.
Some parts of Tibet still have this custom where a woman/girl will marry four brothers regardless of their age and satisfy each and every one of their desires whether it be sexual gratification or cooking food.
Considering the sex drive of a man versus woman, its pretty obvious the man takes the checkered flag. Its noted statiscally (a generalization) that a man will think of sex every 3 minutes or less.
Keeping that in mind, we have one woman tending to four males of different ages varying from 13 to 29. All four of them brothers and all four want to get (for the lack of a better word) nookie. I feel sorry for the female stuck in this predicament. Talk about abusing rights in every aspect
I find it repulsive to see that polyandry is even prevalent in this day and age. I mean, how do these guys even know who the father is of the child? The practice that they carry is all four brothers are fathers of the child regardless of the paternal age, each and every one of them take the same amount of responsibility in upbringing this child.
Polygamy on the other hand is one guy with four women. Still a very stiffling thought to consider having more than one wife. I find it hard for women to feel equally treated in this 1:4 relationship.
What are your views on either?
Would you be interested in polygamy if male? Why? Why would you share?
If female does the thought of polyandry repulse or entice you? Why? Would you share more than one man?
Keep in mind that religion must be kept out of this discussion, even though it does influence most of us but personal views are what we’re trying to hit
on discovery channel a few weeks ago, they were showing a documentary of a tribe in africa (or maybe south america) where they practice a mix of both. the women will have multiple husbands and each husband has multiple wives. the first husband basically charges a handsome money to the next person who wants to marry his wife. and the youngest husband is responsible for most of the household chores including bringing in tree logs for fire and tending to ailing older husband. all husbands and wives work in tandem to bring up the kids and it was one big family (literally).
the first husband has the first call on nuptial relationship, and they had set up different tents for each couple.
in one instance they showed, that the first husband got sick, and the newer husbands were fetching him medicine and water. kinda cute. the age difference was horrendous. the wife who was the center of the documentary must be 45 or so, her first husband was approx 65, and the youngest husband (she had three of them) was about 22. the middle husband had two other wives, and the youngest had three other wives his youngest wife was 18 and he was her first husband and she already had two other proposals. the first husband must be a "shareef banda" because his two prior wives had died and he only had that one wife left.
it was extremely complex, but those guys don't know any other method, so i presume they must think they have the perfect system. they only had 500 or so people in their tribe.
Beta, women have bigger sex drive than men. I think you have yet to experience it. Secondly, if one man can have multiple wives, so can one woman. In terms of knowing who the father is, well, there’s always an option of abortion if one is not sure, besides now there’s a DNA thingie to figure that piece of the puzzle.
Polyandry was common among many different tribes in Africa and India, and as Faisal pointed it, it still exists in some parts of the world. It is just a different lifestyle, and ther’s nothing wrong with it.
Faisal: it certainly is pretty complex society in terms of relations with one another, seems like they have guys old enough to be grandfathers having fun with teenage girls. A custom to us which seems uncivilized but to them a means to an end.
Zabardast: What you've been asked is more survival in the thickest where as the question I asked is based upon societal norm.
For example in the east its becoming less and less of a norm to have polygamy based relationships whereas the west, its totally condemned and is against the law to marry more than one woman. Take that man in Texas who has five wives and is spending jail time.
Back to your answer for a sec, this will make you uncomfy but would you have slept with your sister considering its only left upto you and her and no one around? Think about it, its about survival of Pakistan in your hands as well as hers, its not really about sensuality or enjoyment. Its your duty that you owe to your country. I know you'll say no straight off with religion being your backbone. But speaking from a philosophical perspective would you or wouldn't you and why not?
Today we see women contemplating/confusing love and lust while in a relationship, on the other hand men unable to commit. Would it be better to have a polyandrous or polygamic society? Everyone can go for a free for all. A man could say 'oh tonight i feel like janice instead of sandra' and have a freedom of choice within the boundaries of his spouseS whereas the woman could say 'hey i think i'll go for both the brothers tonight'
This process could eradicate boredom and the rest of the problems posed in a one on one relationship.
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*Originally posted by NYAhmadi: *
Beta, women have bigger sex drive than men. I think you have yet to experience it. Secondly, if one man can have multiple wives, so can one woman. In terms of knowing who the father is, well, there’s always an option of abortion if one is not sure, besides now there’s a DNA thingie to figure that piece of the puzzle.
Polyandry was common among many different tribes in Africa and India, and as Faisal pointed it, it still exists in some parts of the world. It is just a different lifestyle, and ther’s nothing wrong with it.
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Why isn't there anything wrong with multiple relationships? Would you be comfortable if you were in this predicament of having more than one parnter and your wife having a few side dishes of her own?
Coconut, a man is a product of its environment. If we lived in a society where polyandry was a norm (and not an exception), we wouldn’t even know what were are doing had anything odd about it. Do you think that woman who are covered in black abbaya in Saudi Arabia can think outside of their body? To them that is the norm. others might see it as a subjugation of their right to breathe freely. Similarly a Gaesha sees her profession as the most noble trade in this world, you might call her a whore. It is all a matter of how everyone of us is programmed. Now back to your question: How would I feel if I had a partner who was involved in 4 different relationships. Well, I won’t complain. I don’t believe that human emotions revolve around vagina and penis. Now, you may feel otherwise. And it is your right, and I have no problem with that. But what I might have a problem with is when you will start issuing values to my lifestyle, while justifying your own.
Now let me ask you a question. Would you be comfortable with sleeping with a man who has 3 other wives (considering you are a woman). If you are not a woman, pretend that you are, and answer it.
Chaltahai,,,you know, you are right. I have been reading his columns and I don’t even know that I am begining to sound like him. This was a good illustration in human programming (brainwashing). You Arseoff.
When he was visiting Islamabad a few months ago, I exchanged a few e-mails with him.
Why isn't there anything wrong with multiple relationships? Would you be comfortable if you were in this predicament of having more than one parnter and your wife having a few side dishes of her own?
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Good point...That's how women feel if their husband bring other wives!!
If I were a woman I definately would have a problem with the man sleeping with 3 other women. I do think there is a connection around the male and female genetalia which connects them both physically and emotionally.
To love one other emotionally is the first step before it elevates the need to show by going into the next phase which is making love or having sex or whatever you may call it.
I can’t comprehend that its just ok to go around in a pure phuck-o-thon and then come back to the one you love. There is no stability then, is there its not really a static relationship then.
I believe that our motor capabilities however involuntary they are, are still emotionally connected.
The complications to me are just phenomenal if one’s spouse goes around screwing everyone. The lifestyle then is no different than a porn star, prostitute, gigolo where s/he is married yet screws other men/women.
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*Originally posted by PakistaniAbroad: *
Well at least the tribe Faisal describes hasn't discovered the husband-husband possibilities.... not that there's anything wrong with that.
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... or maybe discovery folks chose to overlook that, being too hot to handle.
i am sorry if it sounded like sex is on the forefront of their minds. it was not.
the way the documentary explained, it was more like a cooperative family system where everything (including sexual pleasures of husbands and wives) are shared. In the sort of tough life these guys live (e.g. have to walk a few miles to bring in water and stuff) and having no viable communications with rest of the world, they believe in helping and sharing all their resources. its difficult to get into their minds to think how they deal with issues of fidelity or emotional attachments. as nya pointed out, these attitudes are formed by the norms in the society where we grow up and live in. those folks are probably not at all hung up on these issues.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
its difficult to get into their minds to think how they deal with issues of fidelity or emotional attachments. as nya pointed out, these attitudes are formed by the norms in the society where we grow up and live in. those folks are probably not at all hung up on these issues.
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Lets take a walk back to the begining of time when the first homosapien was cultivating a family. Adam and Eve had two sons Cane and Habel, both brothers didn't know the norms then how do you explain the emotions felt of jealousy and in a fit of rage killed his brother. They weren't influenced by any society.
Don't you think these emotional attachments and issues of fidelity come programmed into the human? I think they still feel it but learn to adapt to the new "normal" environment.
We've all been or seen kids playing with toys and not wanting to share, how can we say that these men/women willingly want to share their favorite toy (partner)?
Am I making sense here, I mean do you see where i'm going with this?
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*Originally posted by CocoNut: *
Don't you think these emotional attachments and issues of fidelity come programmed into the human? I think they still feel it but learn to adapt to the new "normal" environment.
We've all been or seen kids playing with toys and not wanting to share, how can we say that these men/women willingly want to share their favorite toy (partner)?
Am I making sense here, I mean do you see where i'm going with this?
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Not really. Your first example went way back, which, for all intents and purposes is probably a unique time in human development.
I think a lot of factors which result in emotional attachments and fidelity are programmed from childhood. When a parent tells a child "don't touch mama's perfume", and "this is your plate", the child begins to grasp the reality that somethings belong to "mama" and somethings belongs to the child. Some kids grow up to be terribly possessive and some others don't (whom we may call "khulay dil ka" etc). This is just Paediatric Psychology 101. :)
Then again, there are some people who reprogram themselves at a later stage. Some people detach themselves from any emotional involvement from the act of sexual relationship (whether by going to prostitutes or becoming swingers). So its hard to generalize what comes in our genes and what we learn in our childhood or what we re-discover at a grown up age. Societal norms definitely play a huge influence in how we learn, appreciate, react and feel towards these things.
mushi, I am sure there are a large number of people who will bitterly dispute both your assertions. Not to say, you are wrong; just that on this particular matter there are a large number of studies with as many contradictory expert opinions.
sigh I think polyandry is just way too weird and impossible, especially for me.
I judge polygamy in the same way. To me there is no difference. Polygamy, as mushi said, is not a bad solution when there is a serious social problem...but hey, I'll consider polygamy as a viable way of life the next time the female to male ratio rises exponentially...which wont happen again unless if we have a world war.
And ideally, mushi, you'd want to avoid that being a muslim. So in essence there is no real need, at least not in this time and age, for polygamy to be implemented.
Hence, I'm against it. I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with my partner having other partners, whether we're in a marital state or not.
Well I wont want to marry anyone who's already married and also i wont myself have more than one husband. I think it should be ONE husband and ONE wife....no more. That is the simplest way to live your life without any complications. There can be a lot of reasons, jealousy, you wont who the father is if the wife gets pregnant. Also the relationship between the wife and husband will be sacred, they dont share eachother with anyone. This helps the parents to be more close to eachother and thus so is the family.
We all are aware of affects of polygamy in pakistan...the wives will be fighting with eachother....no peace.
SO i go for the peace and quite of a simple family!
its not really a static relationship then.