Police humor… 
So you thought police officers didn’t have a sense of humor 
The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:
15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch
out after you wear them a while.”
14 “Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate
A worthless document.”
13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
12 “Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t
know that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.”
#11 “So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
Can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
10 “Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think
It will help. Oh .. Did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”
#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that
again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
#8 “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
Drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
#7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
To ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!.”
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven "
#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”
#4 “Just how big were those two beers?”
#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
Now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
#2 “I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours At least you know someone who can post your bail.”
AND yes, the best one #1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?
You’re right, we don’t… Sign here.”
niiiice..
..
:k: