Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
The road to success ??.. is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
If at first you don’t succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it always lands on the buttered side.
42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot.
If you have paper, you don’t have a pen ?? If you have a pen, you don’t have paper ?? If you have both, no one calls.
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A diplomatic husband said to his wife, “How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older ?”
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods !
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God !
Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well
loool u’ve done it againnnn TB!
nicee