Hi guys… I have been married for 11 months..n blessed with a baby Alhamdulillah…I want you guys to share your tips and advice that how would you attract your husband and make him to love you back in case if he is living out side of the city with his parents due to his job.. we both are working in different organizations n due to my job I can’t move to his city…since he is living with his parents so he doesn’t listen to me for any matter and do whatever his parents n elder sibblings tell him to do…now in this condition how can I control him n make him to understand his rasponsiblities…thanks
Re: Plz share your sincere advice
Marriage isn’t about controlling your husband but adapting in the best way possible without forgetting who you are in the process.
The question that come to mind when reading your post is did you agree to the living arrangements before you got married as your setup is not conventional. As a result you are spending more time away from him than with him and naturally this will make him more sympathetic to his family. Its human nature to feel empathy for what can be seen and felt, so although he may know he has a responsibility in terms of a new wife and child, he will be unable to feel the responsibility as he is not there day to day.
Would you consider moving to live with him and maybe look for a job closer to him. I think the commitment you would show by doing this will prove itself. You cannot fight a battle of affection from far when all he is seeing is that his family are with him and you are not.
I wish you the best of luck and my final advice would be, the best way to understand someone is to stand in their shoes and see from their perspective. It may not be an easy thing to do but if you truly want your marriage to work then adapt to the change thats infront of you.
Re: Plz share your sincere advice
I appreciate your point of view…but in the beginning we used to live together…n he made a commitment with me that sooner he will transfer himself to my city…where as I don’t have any option to transfer myself to his city…n now he seem to be a really complicated person..I don’t even know nor having any idea that whether we will live together or not…My career mean so much to me n I cannot take it for granted..
Re: Plz share your sincere advice
I had an acquaintance who was in similar situation as you, minus the baby.I would sincerely advice you to move back in with the husband, spend time with him and convince him to move out WITH you & the baby. Unfortunately your husband seems to be someone who is easily influenced and the present situation is giving his relatives an upper hand in manipulating him.
Re: Plz share your sincere advice
We don’t teach manipulation here.
Re: Plz share your sincere advice
First of all, remove the word “control” from the equation…