1.Teacher tells a student a=b b=c then a=c tell me the example
student:I Love u,u love your daughter.So i love your daughter
2.Three fastest means of communication
Telephone,Television,Tell A women
3.Constable to his son:tera result acha nae aya hae,aj se tera khelne aur t.v dekhna band.
Son:acha ye lo 50rupee aur mamla khatam karo
4.1990 Girls:maa me pant pehenogi
Maa:nahe beta loog kya kahenge!
2007 Girls:maa me miniskirts pehenogi
Maa:pehen le beta kuch to pehen le.
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and
one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at
home.
once a sardar jee was going through a jungle at night
he saw a beautiful woman.
so he asked her
“tu kon hai”
she replied: “CCHHUURRAAIILLL”
sardar jee said:" te pher chimar jaaaaa"
a teacher to a student
PYAR aur ISHQ me kya farq hai
student: PYAR woh jo app apni beti se kartey hai
aur ISHQ wo hai jo mai apki beti se karta hu
Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania’s house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!
Teacher: Make a sentence where a word is repeated 4 times.
Student: Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara & becomes Lara Lara.
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Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of “Yes/No” type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, picks a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches his seat and asks what is going on.
Santa replies, “I’m rechecking my answers and I don’t think I did very good.”
Banta got tired of being the butt of jokes and decided to do his PhD.
While looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis on he saw a cockroach walking around.
Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cut one of its legs. And he said to him, "WALK!”
The cockroach moves forward.
Then Banta cut its second leg and shouted, “WALK!”
The cockroach manages to move forward.
Banta then cut its third leg and commanded, “WALK!” The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg.
Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and shouted, “WALK !”.
The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table.
Banta repeated the same experiment with over a thousand cockroaches. And he found all results matched.
Banta was jubilant, “Now ! My thesis is ready!”
He proceeds to write down the subject: “When All Four Legs of A Cockroach Are Cut it becomes Deaf !”
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Q: once the elephant wanted to have some oranges he alongwith the ant went to the garden whr the guard saw them & fired twice once at the ant & then at the elephant, the ant died but the elephant
survived…why?
A: the 1st bullet easily missed the ant but the ant couldn’t see his friend die so she came in way of the bullet & died…
one day.. elephant was riding a scooter and ant was sitting on the back seat. suddenly they met with an accident . they both fall from the scooter on their heads but only elephant got hurt… how..???
coz ant was wearing the helmet.
Two Ants were walking on a Road when they saw one Elephant coming from the opposite side.
One Ant told another ant. Let’s go and beat him up.
Q. What did the other ant told her.
Ans. No forget it yaar, he is alone.
once there was a ant eating a sugar in some shop the
shopkeeper was saying again and again but it was not listening him then an elephant came it asked him that not to eat the sugar and she stopped and then shopkeeper demanded him that i was saying him from so many time but u said once he stopped how comes? an elephant answered him that “gud nalon ishq meetha.”
Its ants birthday, and both decide to go for a long drive on a bike…
inspite of elephants warning ant exceeds the speed limit..and both of them meet with an accident.. and elephant will be badly injured and will be
admitted in hospital…
ant comes running to the doctor saying doctor take my blood its b positive
A ant and a elephant have a boxing chapionship match… the ant WIN and the elephant LOSE…
how come…
cuz the elephant was afraid and he don’t wanna to fight.
Why did the ant win the running race inspite of giving the elephant a 100 mts lead.
Because the ant was wearing spikes
There was an elephant. He was bathing in a pond.
Then an ant came to him and told him to get up!
But the elephant wouldn’t.
The ant begged and pleaded…
So the elephant asked the ant why it wanted him to get up.
So the ant told him why. The ant had just wanted to check whether the elephant was wearing its underwear.
how do u sink a submarine filled with sardars?
just knock on the door they will open it.
CHOTTA SARDAR:mummy kal main jab bathroom da darwaja kholeya te light aape jalgayee
MUMMY:oye khoteya tu kal phir fridge wich susu kar aaya
http://www.jalfanclub.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif
When a Brahmin was standing on Bus Stop to go home, a man on a bike ask
Pandit u want a lift..?"
Brahmin replied: “No my house is in the Ground Floor”
sardar to wife: darliing jab main marunga to tum mere antim sanskar par apni friends ko zaroor bulane
wife: wo to main bulaa lungee par tum unhee kyo invite karna chahte ho
sardar: kyonki maina aksar dekha hai ke loog murdon ke saath chipak-chipak kar rooten hein…
sardarji saw a beautiful women he went to her and kissed her
women angrily said"stupid what r u doing"
Sardarji replied “b.com final year”
Scene: Trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side.
Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts, “Oye Abdul!”
A guy gets up from other trench, “Kya hai be”
Kartar Singh shoots!! BANG. The guy is shot dead!
Kartar Singh shouts again, “Oye Karim”
2 guys stand up, “Kya hai ?”
BANG BANG both khalaas!
Kartar Singh shouts again,“Oye Mustafa!”
2 more, BANG-BANG! dono khalaas!
Pakistanis get worried, they think: Ye Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? They decide to try the trick themselves.
“Abe Gurdev Singh”
silence
“Oye Gurdev Singh!!”
silence
“O bhai, Gurdev Singh!”
This time some one says, “Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?”
Pakistani gets up, “Main”
BANG! He goes!
Bobby returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
“Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a Sardar?”
“No son, that’s because you are intelligent.”
Bobby seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, “Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ??”
“No , that’s because you are intelligent,” replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bobby poses another question to his father. “Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar?”
The father replies, “No son, that’s because you are 31 years old.”
A Sardarni asked her lover during a dating on a romantic evening.
She said to him, “Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?”
“Sure” replied Santa “what is your phone number?”
Aardar on bike and a Pathan on a truck. Both were waiting at a traffic signal.
Pathan trying to make fun of sardar" are aye sardar jab head mein khujli hoti hai to helmet utar ke kyun nahi karte" sardar replies “sade pathan, jab leg pe khujli hoti hai, to pant utar ke kyun nahi karta”
Signal turn on and sardar goes on. on another road Pathan says to Sardar " are aye sardar, jab ek helmet(pagdi) pehna hai to doosra kyun pehna hai" sardar says “oye pathan, jab underwear pehna hai to pant kyun pehna hai”
Once a sardar was riding his cycle suddenly he slips and fells onto the ground.
A young man who was passing nearby asks the sardar “oye paaji why did u slip.”
Sardarji replies “no puttar that was only a joke.”
One day a sardar died due to brain tumer.all the sardars started dancing instead of crying.a person came astronished and asked the sardars why they are dancing.One of the sardar replied atleast one of us had brain na paji…
once a sardar goes 4 examination.After getting the question paper,he reads out the instructions for 10 minutes and then takes out his shirt-then trousers.Before he could have done anything more,the horrified superviser instantly appears and asks sardarji what’s the problem?Sardarji replies-ITS WRITTEN ON THE INSTRUCTIONS TO “ANSWER IN BRIEF”.
Once a sardar goes to a cloth store.he said to the owner bhai indian flag dikhana…shopkeeper shows him some flags.sardarji looks at them and thinks for a while and says something…bhai isme aur colours dikhana!!!
A sardar and his wife was going in their car.suddenly sardar increases the speed of the car.his wife asked"sardarji tussi gaddi ki speed kyon badha ditti.sardar replied"oye!gaddi k break fail ho gaye hai,te chetti kar,accident se pahale ghar pahuch jaani.
Santa to banta,“oye tu har sms mujhe do baar kyun bejhta hai”.Banta" vo is liye, ki agar tujhe ek forward karna ho to dusra to tere paas rehna chahiye".
e-baby
DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks, His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, “Ah, my son, I guess 1 day you wld hav 2 find out anyway!”
“Well, I saw ur Mom & I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO. Then I set up a date via e-mail with ur mom & v met at a cyber-cafe. v sneaked into a secluded room, where ur mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, v discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button.”
“Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'u’ve Got Male”
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was “running it under windows.” The woman responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.”
A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it “couldn’t find printer.” The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.
Santa Singh ka mobile lekar ek chor bhag raha hain.
Santa: Saalay bhag bhag charger toh mere paas hain.
(j/k)
