we were discussing this issue in between frnds.. i think no bdy knew what was the best thing to do so i thought id post it here for a better insight and every1’s different opinions which would help me feel.
i was told about this from a friend of mine.
about ethics…
theres a woman..she hits an accident and things get pretty serious.
shes in comma.. no bdy knows how long or whn will she come to life.
couple of yrs pass by.. shes being looked after her parents. shes also married and her husband was horrified knowing about the accident he was there for quite a long time. but then for how long would he be by her side without an assurance if she’ll ever come to life? (question1)
just because he is married.. does tht mean he canot look around him and can not feel for nybdy else.. while his wife is not dead but almost dead.? (question 2)
as in is it right for him to do so.. if he starts liking someone is it allrite? is it acceptable?
couple of years later 9 yrs.. or so.. the man finds him self in love
and marries off with some one.. and she is being looked after by her parents.
now wat should the paretns do? take the life support system off? (question 3)
or leave it because she is their daughter?
now.. lets assume she comes back to life…i duno if she did but my friend just assumed.. so we’ll assume too
she finds her husband married off to some one else. how fair is tht? and how to make her understand how and y? (question 4)
and 1 yr down the line she expired and through out the yr she wasnt happy she was unaware she was out of everything. and with tht depression she died.
was it right to keep her on life support system for so long just so tht she comes to life.. feels more pain and dies in pain?(question 5)
i duno how much of this makes sense.. but im still looking for answers.
hmm.. do u really think she wont feel the pain?
whn im saying shes in coma.. she dsnt know she was in coma.. right!
u sure it wont be even a little painful to see ur husband next to someone else.. whn u come to life or wake up.. the next tym u do..
is it easy to understand?
umm..........................i think it depends on the ppl who r taking care of her
they shud decide whether they want to keep her alive or not
and the husband getting married.......................i think he shud cuz i dont think she will die of pain that her hubby got married
it depends on the individual..i guess the best way for me to answer this would be to put my self in her shoes.
if i was her..i would not mind my husband marrying someone else..9 yrs is a long time..and i would be okay if he was to marry someone else..its life..people move on
and i would not die of shock either..if we had kids together then it might be a little different..i might feel sad abt it..but its not worth dying over.
i am not married yet..so i am just saying all this..can't base it on any true feelings.
This happened in my family. My chachi collapsed one day and fell into a coma, and the doctors said the brain damage was such that she would probably never recover.
My chachu certainly never began looking around. Years passed and eventually she died in the coma, but my chachu still refuses to look around and gets angry at anyone who suggests he should remarry.
yes it'll be painful to see ur spouse with someone else... but you see in ur scenario, it was nobody's fault.... the girl didnt have accident on purpose and went into coma...and on the other hand her husband waiting for 9 years.. c'mon now..9 years such a long period of time....he waited her to get better but it was useless to wait... girl's parents should let their son in law remarry..since he waited for her to recover for 9 years. As i said 9yrz is a long time.. so i dont think it shud be a big deal...when she comes back into life and finds her husband married off to someone else..yes it wud hurt but if someone let her know that he waited for her 9 years..i dont think she'll be mad at her husband... and i dont think she would die with depression... it was all in her fate...she shud be able to move on and be thankful for a new life...and if possible look for a new suitable life partner. (it'll be really hard to do so, but yes.. she'll have to do it)
It depends how long the wife's in a coma, if the hubby loves her alot he may wait. If he doesn't that's understandable. If for example she was in a coma for 3 years then I think the parents and hubby should get an undertaking from the DPP to allow the life support machine to be switched off. It'll be best to end her life :)
ok.. we're still tlking about wat he''she should would do
tell me what would any one of u do if u werein the position of the husband and parents..
will u let her die? or wait in hope tht she can come back to life.. knowing her lifes completely torn apart!
i duno.. its like a puzzel for me.. i duno what id do...
It would be different from a mum's pov, dad's pov and a hubby's pov. Mums are weak and wouldn't want the lifesupport to be switched off at any cost, dad probably won't let the life support to be switched off. Whereas, as far as the hubby is concerned, can't say anything coz u'll have to ask a married guy about this.
We CANNOT answer this. This is not logical question. There is no real right / wrong. Once you are in those shoes - the emotions and situations play a strange and big role - which most cannot comprehend.
Hope no one has to go through that.
I know a women. Probably one of the most jollies person i ahve ever met. Extremely easy going. Her husband just died one day (out of the blue) when she was 22. She put herself through education, took care of two kids (with little support from aging parents). After the kids have gone to college and stuff - she still refuse to even consider someone else. thats 20+ years already! No one can ever guess she has had a tough life.
White Lady. New found respect for her. Just wanted to share ... another story of true love