please tell me how should i deal with this?

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

its funny how ppl give such 'aggressive' advice w/o wondering what would happen if the tables turn on her ...

[Mad_Hatter]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

I dont think the whole talking in private thing seems to be working, your hubby keeps apologising and saying it's a joke but then he does it again. Maybe you need to show him somehow you are serious with him not saying stuff like that about you in public. I find it very frustrating that you have explained so much to him, and even cried to him about it and he still doesn't learn.

maybe you should just tell him you won't go in public with him until he sorts his behaviour out. and just have short trials of taking him out and testing whether he can control himself, the minute he embarasses you just leave quietly and let him deal with it.

[aurchaepiyo]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

It is a fact I learned long ago that a lot of Pakistani humour is at the expense of someone else -- making fun of someone for how they look or whatever failing one can lay on them. I think your husband is doing that -- trying to make others laugh and thereby make himself seem witty, but not realizing he is doing it the expense of someone else's (a very important someone else's) feelings.

Just keep telling him it doesn't come off well. Don't get all upset when you try to explain this to him, but just let him know. In public, ignore it or yawn. Another strategy which may yield results is to have a third person (enlist a saheli or cousin) to mention it to him privately that it doesn't make him look like a nice person, it doesn't raise his social account any.

[Sehrysh]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

I'm going to suggest the age-old trick of crying in front of others the next time he insults you.

If you say something to reprimand him, he'll get all blustery and say he didn't mean anything by it and that you're making a big deal about nothing. But if you just start to cry and then you try cover up your crying, that makes him feel like a jerk in front of everyone else without your having uttered a word. He'll have to backtrack really quickly to undo the harm.

[STA]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

@Sehrysh

I’m going to suggest the age-old trick of crying in front of others the next time he insults you.

If you say something to reprimand him, he’ll get all blustery and say he didn’t mean anything by it and that you’re making a big deal about nothing. But if you just start to cry and then you try cover up your crying, that makes him feel like a jerk in front of everyone else without your having uttered a word. He’ll have to backtrack really quickly to undo the harm.

[Reha]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

@Decent_6Chora

how is your relationship with your husband? like are you guys friendly, do you guys joke around with each other? (when other people are not around) ?

If you really get offended with this attitude of his, you need to remind him every-time in no unclear terms that he is overstepping and you don’t like it. Personally I’d not reply in same words but will give some attitude even in front of those guests so next time they dont pretend to enjoy any such comments.

:k:

@ShahreyarKhan

its funny how ppl give such ‘aggressive’ advice w/o wondering what would happen if the tables turn on her …

What does that mean? If the tables turn on her…

@Sehrysh

I’m going to suggest the age-old trick of crying in front of others the next time he insults you.

If you say something to reprimand him, he’ll get all blustery and say he didn’t mean anything by it and that you’re making a big deal about nothing. But if you just start to cry and then you try cover up your crying, that makes him feel like a jerk in front of everyone else without your having uttered a word. He’ll have to backtrack really quickly to undo the harm.

:k:

He has to see how others view him…that he isn’t cool or being taken as a man. More like less than a man because he has to go to such lengths to show people he is one.

[Xtron]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

Well he clearly doesn't have any manners. Follow the good advice some ppl have given ya!

[_H_NK]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

I agree with most of the advice here about giving him a lesson in public, but that makes me think what if he becomes even more aggressive after that in private? So its really all up to the OP because she knows how far to push the things, and how the relationship between the two of them is, friendly, formal etc.

[ganxta_girLie]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

@Enigmatic

how is your relationship with your husband otherwise?

You should actually talk to him about this..and if this hasn’t worked, next time he says something taunting just don’t talk to him for sometime and show that you are offended. You don’t need to confront him but just staying quiet and showing you are offended should work.

Tell him that the husband and wife are a garment for each other. He shouldn’t be making fun of you esp when you get hurt by such things

I always have to agree with you cuz your sooooo rightt:hug: !!!

[queen_24]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

my husband's attitude is extremely insulting and taunting for me,in front of others..he embarrasses me for every little thing..for example,today he was saying infront of my BIL and sister "kaam ki na kaaj ki dushman anaaj ki"...i felt so embarrassed:(..there are many other examples like this..i really don't understand how should i deal with this..:(..please i just want sincere advice...

is it your arrange marriage?
well, seriously, you completely ignore it.. the more u will drag it, the more he will enjoy.. take his sentences REALLY as a joke (as HE says) and reply him funny answers.. if others laugh at his sentences, give others the CHANCE to laugh at YOUR answer too.. when he'll see you are being very witty.. he will think twice to take PANGA with you in public :D

[Panache]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

how is your relationship with your husband otherwise?

You should actually talk to him about this..and if this hasn't worked, next time he says something taunting just don't talk to him for sometime and show that you are offended. You don't need to confront him but just staying quiet and showing you are offended should work.

Tell him that the husband and wife are a garment for each other. He shouldn't be making fun of you esp when you get hurt by such things

Exactly that's wht I was abt to suggest,
- Make a face infront of others and just walk out
- Completly ignore him, no khana, pene or caring abt any other stuff
- Make a note of his bad habits /things and mention them in return (humorly)
- Change ur room till he really opologise
- think abt all the advise, engrossed over and use them intelligently.

[STA]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

@Panache

Exactly that’s wht I was abt to suggest,

• Make a face infront of others and just walk out
• Completly ignore him, no khana, pene or caring abt any other stuff
• Make a note of his bad habits /things and mention them in return (humorly)
• Change ur room till he really opologise
• think abt all the advise, engrossed over and use them intelligently.

:k:

[Hulahoop_Queen]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

I would say stay quiet in public and continue to let him know from time to time it hurts you. I would not suggest taking any drastic actions in 1st yr of marriage. Stay patient..i think he is immature for his age. What you can do, however, is to make sure you IGNORE his comment. For example, if he makes fun of you, pretend you are busy doing smtng else..like reading the newspaper or watching TV...as if you didnt even hear what he said. I've had people do that to me too but I usually pretend I never heard them. Always remember your best line of action against such immaturity are YOUR ACTIONS. Continute to do your hard work, love, laugh and don't participate in such non-sense.

[Reha]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

^ I do that too.

If someone is unnecessarily rude...a good way to shut them up is to pretend not to hear them at all.

[Hulahoop_Queen]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

^I totally agree. It is actually quite a sight..LOL, when you pretend you didnt hear them and remain silent, it just makes them look SO STUPID..its amazing..

[sweefs]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

slap him in front of them. pata chalay embarrassment kya hoti hai.

[NomiCA]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

no…this is what you do..

hahahahhahahahahahhahahahha…like really loud… always works

[TheNoodle]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

"kaam ki na kaaj ki dushman anaaj ki"

Well then you better go to the kitchen and make him a sammich

[Pepsi_ki_Botal]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

^ I do that too.

If someone is unnecessarily rude...a good way to shut them up is to pretend not to hear them at all.

hahahahahha i love doing this! because if you react you just end up hating yourself later for not having a good enough comeback :D

[Hulahoop_Queen]

Re: please tell me how should i deal with this?

@TheNoodle

Well then you better go to the kitchen and make him a sammich

How about fight with his mother and make a sammich out of him?