Let us try something different.
( Everybody please read the whole post of mine before you jump to any conclusions. Please do not start jumping down my throat by just reading bits and pieces of my post)
Chamali:
I had to go through some of your previous threads to look at the background of what is happening. I feel for you. Looks like you are stuck with mama's boy and looks like you are surrounded by hounds. I am a man not a women but I have seen abuse of women while growing up. I have seen abuse of men at the hand of women too.
No hadees or quranic verse is going to change your husband or his parents or his brothers mindset . The quran and hadees works for poeple who understand the beautiful religion of Islam and if they would understand the essance of this religion you will never be in the situation you are, even if the abuse was at your part.
Islam teaches a virtue of sabar to momaneen which is the best cure for any bad situation.
Quran and hadees works as magic for people who are pious and Islam has engulfed their spirit. If someone is following the religion superficaily hadees and quran is not going to work on them as magic pill. Sometimes it does work you can try afterall it is from Allah.
I pray to Allah that it works for you. Ameen.
One thing is clear that the situation right now is at a point that untill you and your husband move out of that house you will not get your peace.Right ?
Now what to do ? You have so many choices. Since you know the whole situation and you are living it. Only you can decide on what is best for you.
Here are your choices:
1. Since you live in a country where marriage couseling is available you can arrange to go to that counseling with your husband. How can you convince him to go I do not know.Since you know him you have to come up with a plan.
2. Leave him , he has been telling you to leave ,temporary seperation might work and he and his family might come to their senses. As result he and his family might agree for him to rent a seperate home for you and him. But it might not work either, and his or your ego might turn it into permanent seperation from your husband.
3. Bring in some third party into the equation but that might aggrevate the situation.
The way you have been talking about your in laws ( Monster in Law for example) tells me you are not helping the situation either.
You might be doing that because you are at your wits ends.
This kind of bad behavior on your inlaws part cannot be changed by your bad behavior. Looks like your good behavior is not working either so what to do to control this monster ? Right ?
4.Diplomacy or you attitude. You attitude is a term in human behavior/psychology . You attitude is when although an action on the part of other party will be in your favor but you make it look like that it is in their favor.
You have to do it very intelligently , you cannot just tell the person I am doing it because it is good for you or you cannot tell that person that he has to do it because it is good for him. You seem to be very smart women you come up with a plan and discuss it here in these forums.
Try to turn the situation in this way that his parents and his family demand him to get them a seperate house.Try to make it look like that his parents and his family needs to live in peace and calm, they need their privacy not you. Try to make it look like you are not demanding it because you want to live seperately because you want privacy and want to live in peace. They should be forced to say that they cannot live in a house which is maintained by you they cannot eat the food you cook. Try to make them say that you will never learn and it is better for them to go their seperate ways.
How can you do that ? I do not know you have to be creative.
The intelligent members of these forums might come up with some ideas. Any ideas ? Everybody!
May Allah give you , your husband and his family peace . Ameen.
If any of this makes sense and helps you do not forget to pray for me for whole of your life.
