Re: please help
I found more verses / hadiths on forgiving, remaining patient & trying to live together peacefully (and the rewards of Allah (swt) in return), but as you insisted on having a separate living, I hope insha'Allah the following might help;
“It is necessary to provide the wife with shelter as Allah Most High Says: “Let the women live in the same stile as you live, according to your means. And annoy them not, so as to restrict them” (al-Talaq, 6). Quran
the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) said; "The best among you are those who have the kindest of behavior towards their wives, and they are the one who show the most perfect faith."
Support of one's wife is one of the most important obligations of the husband. It is one of the distinguishing aspects of "husbandhood". Allah said in the Qur'an:{Ar-rijaalu qawwaamoona 'alaa an-nisaa'i bimaa fadh-dhala Allahu ba'dhahum 'alaa ba'dhin wa bimaa anfaqoo min amwaalihim...}*{Men are in charge of women because of what Allah has given to some more than others and because they support them from their property.} *An-Nisaa:34
In a hadith recorded in Muslim and Bukhari, the Prophet (sas) told Hind bint Utbah, after she complained that her husband, Abu Sufyan, was stingy and was not maintaining her and she asked if she could take from his property without his knowledge (which can also be applied for desiring a separate place to live):[INDENT]"Khudhiy maa yakfeeka wa waladaki bi al-ma'roofi"*"Take what is sufficient for you and your child according to what is customary." *Muslim & Bukhari[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Allah says, " *And they [women] have rights [over their husbands] similar to those over them according to what is reasonable (Quran 2:228)* "[/INDENT] In the Hanafi school, the wife has a right to live (and demand to live) separately. It is the duty and responsibility of the husband to provide her with shelter (suknah). This shelter must, if she demands so, be free from the interference of any of the husband’s family. The responsibility of the husband will be fulfilled if the wife is provided with a separate area within the house, and where she is able to keep her belongings and where none of the husband’s family members are able to enter.
Imam al-Haskafi states in Durr al-Mukhtar:“It is necessary for the husband to provide the wife with a shelter (home) that is free from his and her family members…. taking into consideration both their economic standings. A separate quarter within the house that has a lock, separate bathroom and kitchen will be [minimally] sufficient.”The great Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) comments on this by saying: “The reason behind al-Haskafi’s statement “Free from his family members” is that at times it may be harmful for her to share the house with other people, as her belongings may not be safe. Also, she will not able to enjoy her husband’s company in the presence of other people”. Regarding al-Haskafi’s statement “Separate bathroom and kitchen”, this may defer from one family to another. Poor people who normally share these things with other families may find it difficult to provide a house with a separate bathroom and cooking area. Therefore, for them it will be sufficient to provide a separate quarter that has a lock” (Radd al-Muhtar 3/559-600).
what i understand from this is that she needs to have a separate room and not necessarily a separate home....
especially in this day and age when cost of housing is so high, it'd be silly to say that the husband must provide a separate home for his wife....
also some tend to forget the obligation of the man to provide his parents with a house is greater than that of providing his wife with one....
so its totally wrong for a wife to demand from her husband to kick his parents out (which is almost always the case when such questions r put forward)....