Can you guys post some duahs for me… my husband is becoming very rude to me… I Know the cause is his mother turning him against me… Please help me find some duas that will help me in this situation… other wise I will go crazy… I love him too much… I dont want to loose him… Also if there are any duas to make my mother in law like me … I really need them right now… Please take a moment and share… May Allah give you Ajar for this…
Re: Please help
Dear sister,
25:74 – And who say, "Our Lord! Grant us that our spouses and children be a joy to our eyes (that they excel in character). And make us the foremost among those who walk aright."
25:75 They, such are these who will be rewarded with a high station of honor for their steadfast commitment (to their Lord). Therein they will be met with salutation and peace.
Re: Please help
Can you guys post some duahs for me.... my husband is becoming very rude to me.... I Know the cause is his mother turning him against me.... Please help me find some duas that will help me in this situation........... other wise I will go crazy... I love him too much.... I dont want to loose him... Also if there are any duas to make my mother in law like me ........... I really need them right now.... Please take a moment and share.... May Allah give you Ajar for this.........
Yaqeen-e-Muhkam, amal-e-Pay'hm, Muhabat fateh Aalam
Jihad-e-Zindgaani maiN hay yeh mardooN key shamsheeraiN.
Dear Sister,
The solution for ur problem is mentioned in above poetry of Illama Iqbal, no words other than the words coming out from the depth of heart have more effect if the above mentioned advice stays in practice.
Believe in your self, work hard to achieve the objective, and do it in the way you want others to do it to win you, and then little dua in simple words after the salah will do the rest.
May Allah solve ur problems
Re: Please help
Salaam sister!
Its a very sad situation, I can understand your position, I don't know any particular dua but I suggest that you should read your prayers more regularly and also pray Tahajjud. May Allah give you ease and happiness.
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Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Ask him why he's acting rude towards you and what you're doing to upset him. DON'T indicate that you think its his mom.
Islam does give you the right to speak to your husband as an equal, you know.
Re: Please help
After Esha prayers without talking recite durad shareef ( which we do in namaz ) 11 times n then recite surah Rehman 11 times pray for wateva u want to n then end with durad shareef 11 times. follow this rountine for 11 days without any gap with firm belief dat Allah will help n guide u.
InshAllah u ll find a way
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Why not 12 times for 12 days?
perhaps, that is how the zikar is prescribed from the traditions of Sahaba, tabieen, taba tabaieen etc.
See, it is like this... why not make 4 sajdas, not 2?
oh sorry, i forgot it is salah... oh but where in Quran it gives us the number of sajdah in a rakat? errmmmmm..
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Most of these recommendations to read this or that x number of times, is not founded upon any evidence even from hadith.
Please put up things that you can support, not recommendations that you got from some family pir.
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oh so you’re wahabi? yayyyyyy
PS: I have a lot of respect for our wahabi/salafi muslims even though I myself am not
PS 654: I am more into Sufism
PS 64: Fraudz will tell you what it means.
Re: Please help
Peace Sister chamali
It seems by the way you have described your set-up is that you are living a traditional Pakistani cultural lifestyle. So as well as du'a as people have given you, it is with utmost importance you actually do something to ease your situation also. Sister PCG is giving you good advice.
As if you are talking about a different subject, like the last khutbah, for e.g. tell your husband that you have read it and narrate it to him. Say that you think it is really enlightening. The reason I say this is because in it is advice to the men, to treat their women (wives) kindly, to clothe them and provide shelter for they are committed helpers to us men. This should get him thinking.
If you are good at poetry try to write a few lines to express that importance of the mother and the wife and the balance the man must make between them treating both with good conduct as Islam prescribes.
Try to give no reason for either your mother-in-law or your husband to be upset with you. They ask you to do something, if it is halal then there is no reason why it should not be done. Likewise you can ask them to do things for you also. But this approach requires learning and a lot of patience.
Try to be sympathetic to your husband. Behave as if the rudeness is not affecting you. That will give moral high ground and a sense of authority, because if you look the one who is rude, he only is rude because of a turmoil within him, he let's this anger out in spurts of rage and rudeness, so the people around him feel as he is feeling. The problem is that he is the one in need not you. So lend him an ear and ask him what has driven him to a condition that he feels he should earn himself sin by being rude. Remind him patience is well rewarded.
When asking Allah (SWT) to help you do so in that you are sure He is Hearing, and don't be asking in despair. Ask others around you to pray (supplicate) for you too.
Try to analyse the lifestyle you are living, does your hubby get enough exercise? Physical exercise takes energy and channels it away from mental tension. Do you study Islam and try to be attractive for your husband?
You can also stand up for your right by not talking to your husband when you think he is being rude. Or try to find other ways to pacify him! Food, etc. Are there money issues, or pride issues? Solve these also. Try not to be a burden for your husband in money issues if they are there. Never compete with your mother-in-law (I'm not saying that you do), but encourage your husband to make his mother feel well respected and try to make or buy gifts for her like flowers and show your husband that you are thinking about his mother, even more than him! This will alter his psychology and put you in a position of (acquired) authority over him, even though Islam makes him the decision-maker, but you are his advisor, that is the rank Islam gives you.
They say behind every good man, is a brilliant woman.
Try to remove haram or unIslamic things from your home and lifestyle. Be simple but effective in decoration, keep TV off for as long as you can. Read Qur'an in your home and keep the place tidy. Men are amazed when they see clean places, even if they don't say so with their mouths.
If he hits you then this is wrong and you need to seek help. Try his mother. There is nothing more powerful than the mother of your husband so you can use her if you put trust in her to sort out your affairs. If not then try to get a third party involved as an arbitrator someone both of you can trust and have respect for, then explain the situation with everyone present and try to get everything sorted or a programme for development. Consult him first about this if this is the case.
Did you know that Islam only gives permission to a man to hit his wife if she has been unfaithful to him, and when he hits her it should be with nothing bigger than a toothbrush.
Yes, do a lot of du'a and act upon sound judgement and try to be one step ahead of the game and treat it like game of chess, in a halal way of course.
Re: Please help
May Allah solve your problem and put love for each other in both of your hearts! Ameen!
Dear Sister, try to remain as patient as you can in this situation. Just be gentle and calm until the situation gets better. Let go of your ego if it comes in beween. You have to fight to save this relationship. It's worth it, believe me. May Allah soften your husband's and his mother's hearts.
Allah behtar karei ga!
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Some numbers do have a certain significance.
Why not 12 times for 12 days?
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Some numbers do have a certain significance.
be pragmatic... it's not a magic spell.
Let's not make this thread a yo-mama charade.
The sister needs to save her home. Let's help her with whatever support we can give.
Re: Please help
oh so you're wahabi? yayyyyyy
PS: I have a lot of respect for our wahabi/salafi muslims even though I myself am not
PS 654: I am more into Sufism
PS 64: Fraudz will tell you what it means.
Just because you actually like to read the Quran and try to follow it, doesn't make you a gun-toting Wahabi.
I do not subscribe to the Wahabi way of thought. I just don't believe in stating things like as if they were magic spells. Turn the chamcha this way and that in the cauldron and add a pinch of sugar. Right - that's rational.
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Just because you actually like to read the Quran and try to follow it, doesn't make you a gun-toting Wahabi.
you are missing one very fundamental thing in that statement.
PS: very important
PS 533: uff, how can you do that?
PS 543: let's figure out what is that:)
PS 46: honestly.
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Yaqeen-e-Muhkam, amal-e-Pay'hm, Muhabat fateh Aalam Jihad-e-Zindgaani maiN hay yeh mardooN key shamsheeraiN.
Yaar, us ney dua key liye kaha tha, she'r sunaaney ko Nahin
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Shaheen, I'm not 10 years old. Please cut out the immaturity.
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I think PCG, Psyah and Hypnotix have given good advice to you. Whatever you do, do not make him feel as if you are right and his mother is wrong. A husband is never happy in a situation where he has to choose between his mother and wife. Perhaps the best strategy would be to win his mother over somehow even when she is wrong. What you are facing is not uncommon especially in our cultures. There is a very big communication gap between us and our previous generation where no one could speak or move in front of a family elder or young ones were not allowed to have their own opinions.
Were you born and raised in US and your hubby in Pak?
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Shaheen, I'm not 10 years old. Please cut out the immaturity.
so what were you missing again? :)