I'm sorry to hear your story. Wouldnt it be a better idea to move back?Help back home would be more affordable and your dad's medicals wont be a problem either cos of his army background. It is an unfortunate situation but with some adjustments and compromises, things might not be so bad... ? you guys could help out a little and with his pension and free medical back home, I'm sure it,d be alot more affordable. It means however that he'd be a bit far from you and the kids so you might have to make frequent trips back home till things settle down a little but I'm sure he'll have other loved ones around...?
I'm sure you've considered all this anyway... Hope things get better for you :) I'll pray.