Okay so I’ve been evaluating my life thus far and have decided that I do indeed need to let go of my current friends no matter how hard it may seem. They are not beneficial for me I.e taking me for granted and not bothering about me. However I really do want to make new friends, even though people might say that you don’t need friends, you actually do to an extent. The problem is how do I make more friends? I’ve never been in such a situation before. Where do I go? What do I do? I actually can’t think of anything. Do your friends get better when you graduate uni and get a job and become an actual adult I dunno? Does everybody go through ‘friend’ issues? How many good and close friends did y have/have u got? I’m confused. Have you guys been through a similar experience? If so what did u do? I’m in need of advice here. Thanks in advance.
Re: Please help me
PM GS waalaas and waalis and you are on the road to successful friendships...Good Luck! :)
Re: Please help me
firstly, it's good that you realise these friends aren't bringing any positivity in your life and you want to get rid of them. yes, most people will go through friend issues and it all depends on an individual, some people have a handful of close/good friends whilst others will have friends to just socialise with.
second, do you know any people from work or school or acquaintances that you get along with? are there any hobbies that you can take up where you can socialise with like minded people? i hear you about needing friends, but sometimes rather than wanting to befriend more people it would be good to spend some time by yourself.
however my personal favourite, a tried and tested method of obtaining friends is usually to force people. it saves a lot of time and you don't even need to exchange niceties, cool right? but y'know, whatever floats your boat i guess.
Please help me
Letting go of old friends is hard but at a certain point you realize they're so not worth it because of how toxic they are.
I have lots of friends alhundullilah, and it's mostly because i grew up with them. But I started making more friends by networking. And now I have an even bigger group. They're all Pakistani girls- they're newly married or married with 2 kids. I'm the only single one there but they're almost my age +- few years. We met through a good friend of mine, added one another on fb, met at random events and after one year we're good friends. Not chummy BFF type but yeah good dosti, more than hello hi.
I feel that making friends takes time. Go to the masjid, join some Islamic group, a Pakistani/Desi association, school sports or club etc.
In one of these events, if someone clicks with you, make an effort to get to know them!! Text them often, plan a coffee date. If the person likes you back, you may be better friends with him/her in a couple of months.
Communication is key and showing interest in the potential friend :)
Please help me
Oh and as for me, I have one BFF who knows every thing about me. And 2 other very very good friends whom I talk to every day almost. We grew up together so it's like a 20-21 yr bond. And I have like 4-5 good friends whom I talk to on a regular basis too and 5-6 good friends whom I'm good friends with but we don't meet up so much due to commitments (their kids etc) but whenever we do meet up, we are close and talk openly.
Also,
Family is your best friend!!
Re: Please help me
I think the more you make it your "mission" to find/make friends, the more tense you'll appear to people. You won't come come across as relaxed and the pressure can blind you...as in prevent you from assessing the other person clearly. Don't try too hard, go with the flow.
Re: Please help me
I have a couple of BFFs that I've had since 9th grade of high school and they know everything - and I mean everything. I have other friend groups that I see every so often here and there and its always good to see them as well. I came to care for them over time but its not the same as childhood friends. Also, yes - everyone goes through friend issues. Even my BFFs and I - sometimes we argue over things we may not agree on. but since we care so much, one of us will usually put our issues to the side and apologize. Siblings fight, why wouldn't friends fight? But again, these people have to be people you really care for and are worth it.
Please help me
Keep ur old friends but limit them and hangout at places you do not usually go to make different kind of friends.
Re: Please help me
yes friends too grow old with time and some friendship end and some become more serious.
another thing friends are a gift from god, so
dont worry
Re: Please help me
Its very hard to let go your old friends ..but i guess it depends on you too if your not that sensitive and know how to let go or make yourself busy with something productive than can workout ..
making new friends doesn,t really happen automatically. It takes time, you meet new ppl at schools, Uni, work force and parties/relatives etc...and gradually your relationship with them deepens depending on how well you get along. Plus in my opinion one shouldn,t have expectation from anyone except Allah. when you expect from friends and they don,t fulfill those expectations then it starts to become annoying and sad etc. However, amongst many friends there is always one or two who are the most sincere one. If thats not the case for you well then insha Allah sooner or later you will find one. dont worry.
I have many friends Alhadmulilah from years ..some are very close to me..some are not that close ..i made my friends through schools, uni , masjids, and fb/skype ...Try going to majids, Islamic lectures ..I guess friendship based on Deen is worth it :)
Re: Please help me
I cut off with my all friends almost two years ago and as a result my life is very peaceful, I am learning new things, I am being more positive, more attentive at work, I have a pet, I look after my garden, I spend maximum time with parents and life seems good.
Adopt a hobby, get a pet, do social work, make early to bed early to rise routine, morning jog, exercise and always be thankful for everything.
I personally, love the change which has taken place in me and now I hope I would concentrate more on religion.