PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Inshallah i am getting married this year Sept and have no idea where to start…!!! the wedding will be in London, I am from Pakistan but have lived in UK all my life. Never really been to any weddings either so as you can imagine i am very lost.

They have set the mangni for 3 weeks time, not sure what is expected from me on this day and the formalities that have to take place?

Also heard that i have to gift his family when they come to our house. Would this be just his immediate family or everyone from the uncles, aunties, cousins etc? He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters none are married

any information would be very much appreciated :slight_smile:

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

oh ya u hav to give gifts nt only to his imediate family but also his
chacha/chachi
phupha/phuphi
taya/tai
khala/khalo

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Some traditions for mangni:

The bride's side gives a jora to the groom.
The groom's side gives a jora for the bride.
The bride and groom may exchange rings during the event, or the bride will be given a ring and the groom will be given a watch or gold coins or something
bride and groom will be fed mithai by various relatives/friends (so it would be good to make sure some is available, tho the groom's side may bring it)
guests may bring gifts for the couple

i do not think you need to give additional gifts to his family at the mangni, especially when it is only three weeks away!

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

thanks for your reply =)

when should we give them the gifts, is it when they come to our house or when we go over to them
and would it be too rude to give in gift bags or should we make baskets and wrap them?

all this expense and its only just begun

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

u shud give the,when thay cum to ur place..wrap them and arrange it on baskets :)

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

:)

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

oh my goodness, this is ridiculousness.

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

**Don't go overboard with gifts on the engagement. Observe what they bring for you and do accordingly on your Nikkah/Ba'raat. **

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

This is pretty sound advice. Re-read it.

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

i guess im just very stressed and want everything to be perfect. thanks everyone :)

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Bride, It can be very stressful, and it's just going to get more so. If you give a million things now, you will be expected to top it all at the nikkah. It's not to say you can't give gifts. But do it when you see something appropriate and have the time and resources to give something. Don't do it because you have to.

That being said, obviously you don't want yourself or your family to "look bad" because you did not do something. You should ask your mother or another female elder to ask his mom or one of his elders what the customs are in their family. Then perhaps they will ask and you can say what are yours. There are LOTS of different ways this is done. Don't take unnecessary stress and burdens upon yourself.

And try to remember, this is a happy and exciting time in your life. Weddings can make people crazy, but it's important to keep the big picture and the real purpose in mind.

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Also, if you do find you want to give gifts to his family members DO NOT give it to the extended family. Even giving to his immediate family is more than necessary.

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Sahar you have been most helpful,

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

Happy to help. Best wishes!

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

I second it..giving gifts to the immediate family is more than enough..

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

its all depend on family traditions..is dis all in ur traditions..in my family all gift are nt given on egagment...all gift are given on wedding

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE…

^then what was up with your initial post telling her to get gifts for his entire family? :smack:

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE…

yar i didnt notice the word engagement :stuck_out_tongue:

Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE......

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Re: PLEASE HELP A VERY LOST BRIDE TO BE…

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