Please double check my translation

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1

Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaye
Sanjh Ki Dulhan Badan Churaye
Chupke Se Aaye
Mere Khayaalon Ke Aangan Mein
Koi Sapnon Ke Deep Jalaaye

Kabhi Yun Hi Jab Hui Bojhal Saansen
Bhar Aai Baithe Baithe Jab Yun Hi Aankhen
Kabhi Machal Ke Pyar Se Chal Ke
Chhuye Koi Mujhe Par Nazar Na Aaye
Kahin Door…

Kahin To Yeh Dil Kabhi Mil Nahin Paate
Kahin Pe Nikal Aaye Janmon Ke Naate
Thami Thi Uljhan Bairi Apna Man
Apna Hi Hoke Sahe Dard Paraaye
Kahin Door…

I can’t figure out what some of the words are…and am translating
for a friend

When the days go far (dhaal?)
Sanjh 's bride the body takes
quietly it comes,
in my thought’s
someone burns my dream’s DEEP

Sometimes my breath burns Bojhal
My eyes tells me as it comes out,
Sometimes love’s way/design Machal(shakes)
as someone’s eyes touched me,
somewhere far.

Perhaps this heart may not meet,
Perhaps my love’s NAATE left
Thami Thi Uljhan Bairi Apna Man
Thought he is mine, the hurt is a stranger,
Somewhere far.

2

When the sun starts setting on the horizon
The evening steals itself away (think sanjh means evening)
Someone steals into my thoughts quietly
And in my field of dreams starts igniting their fire(or light)

Whenever my breathing becomes heavy (distorted)
And the eyes become teary without any reason
Someone naughtily walks over lovingly
Touches me softly without revealing herself.

In most places hearts never meet (bond)
Then in other places, it feels like an ageless bond
the confusion halted but still a stranger to my heart
He is mine but suffers the stranger's pain.

(the last 2 lines I know I screwed up on)

Anyways my attempt :)

3

Thanks Rukhsar...your version is much more poetic than mine! !h

4

^ Yep, good job Rukhsar :k:

5

no problem! thanks ladies :)

6

amelie ji aapka kis foreigner pe dil aagaya jis ko aap ye sunai gi? ;)