To be honest, we don’t have a ‘please and thank you’ culture in Pakistan. Not that we are not hospitable and loving people, but how often do we say courtesy words to our moms, dads, siblings or strangers for that matter? Is it our culture that we are not very expressive about these things in Pakistan… but we do hear them a lot in the West..even from fellow desi folks.
What are these words worth if you don’t mean them? I guess the question is whether you would want hear the courtesy or see it in the eyes.
I've been thinking on same issue for past some time. As I really like if my kids maintain pure urdu inside home so I was kinda wondering what should be the alternative of 'please' :)
Anyway, in our family ammi always stressed on saying 'shukria' etc. and we were very much used to itso I like it that way. when I taught same thing to my kids hubby often thought i was kinda forcing it ....n many ppl think its wrong if i 'demand' a 'shukria' as a parent. To be honest kids don't learn if they don't have a role model.and if they don't exercise manners at their home...n I don't think they shouldn't say thank you etc thinking, 'ghar ki baat hay' or taking it as a formality. I like it if my kids express their feelings n to me it IS important.
I ALWAYS thank my mom after a meal, to the point that she tells me that it's only her duty and I needn't thank her. But Im a different case, Im heavily influenced by Japanese culture, which is very expressive about these things.
Anyway, the parents role is crucial in the up-bringing of the child. The child of grateful person will become grateful. A child of the one who rants will rant and so on, so remember to say "shukria" to your kids too!!!
I think everytime i have said Thanks or sorry to my parents or my siblings because they knew i meant it.
here we say it so often that sometimes i even forget to keep track of things i am sorry about :*rolleyes.
There have been times where i sit there with ami ji and thank her for being there for me etc. She knows i really mean it because i usually hug her afterwards. Any time i am sorry i would put my head on her lap and just cry. I can't see ami ji being naraz with me :~) so i try to be the good girl.
I don't say these things too often i dont think there is any sort of a formality among family memebers. But everytime you say these words it should atleast appear that you mean it.
be a good bacha/bachi so you wont have to say it too often and then everytime you would say it they would know you mean it :~)
u no i normally do say please & thankyou to my parents & siblings but it's just for normal things like ,"please ketchup pass karo ....."& stuff of tht sort.....but i don say i love you to them...i do love them a lot but i felt quite weird...........it's so not me to be expressive