I have not been to Pakistan much or ever for really long my urdu too is somewhat broken. We may be going pakistan soon and i ll be living with inlaws . I am a very reserved person with very little people skill nor am i familar with traditional norms of living with in laws.
What are some ways i can win them over and ensure my stay there is a pleasant one? My husband is one to blindly take his families side so i kind of need to be up to a certaij mark he also has this habit of "dobbing" on me for the lack of a better term to his mother he kind of tells her everything so how do i deal with this in a civil manner as well?
All you can do is try your best without letting it consume you to the point of robbing your well-being. They say “seeing is believing” and with that said, show respect and thoughtfulness toward your in-laws especially in front of your husband. That way, if in-laws play any games where they try to paint you as careless, your husband hopefully won’t rush to believe them because he has witnessed you being respectful often enough. Sometimes we gotta play the game. Recite your Quls and keep a strong connection woth Allah thru regular ibadat because it will help to keep you emotionally anchored. I’ve had a stressful day where i’ve felt so angry toward some people. But as soon as I started doing dhikr, I felt calmer. So, it helps. Also....I don’t know what you’re like in real life but going by what I’ve observed of you on the forum.....I’ve never seen you joke around or talk about easy breezy light-hearted things. To develop rapport with your in-laws and others....use some humor, talk about fun and light-heared things at times, ask others how they are doing and feeling and questions about their interests, give out genuine compliments, help out when you can without compromising ur well-being. At the end of the day if someone still doesn’t like you....it’s their problem cuz you can’t control them. After all desi culture treats it as fashionable to find reasons to hate the daughter-in-laws. Best wishes.