Going Pakistan for this rishta searching. Have a few years of university left and wont graduate till 30. Which as we know is “late” to get married especially for a girl.
Question is if a family wants to pursue things further, should it be a yes and we get married now or should i wait to finish. I have younger siblings but if they are ready then i guess why cant they get married before me?
I dont have a job am still studying is entertaining the idea of marriage at this stage wise only because the proposals we have now we might not have later and I am getting old?
It’s all about your personal preference and what you can handle and how supportive your husband and family are. I know of people who got married in uni and finished while being married/ juggling the responsibilities of a wife.
I wish you the best in your search. May Allah make it easy for you to find the one and for you to fulfill your responsibilities in the best of ways
No, its not wise. In this day and age when the divorce rates are at a high all across the board, you should make sure you’re always self-sufficient. A degree is not just part of the rishta package, it also commands respect.
This is especially true if you’re walking into an arranged marriage setup where you don’t know the guy, have no emotional attachment and will not develop an understanding until after marriage. If things go south, you don’t want to be the girl who people feel sorry for. You want to be the girl people KNOW will be okay.
Please don’t think I am scaring you or painting a depressing picture of marriage. Marriage is beautiful but only with the right person. With the wrong one, it can be pretty bad.
Would not it be alot more difficult to find people at 30 though? Definitely want to finish off with this degree but honestly begin feeling like a loser if you have been studying for all these years and have nothing else going for you…
No, they weren’t. ButI don’t think it matters as long as the person has the willingness to continue to study, progress and the guy/family are understanding of it.
how many years are left in your degree? if its just 1-2 years then why not just get nikkahfied at this point.
btw, have seen girls finishing and even pursuing more degrees after getting married so it all depends on your capacity to manage and the mindset/support of your husband and in laws.
I know its hard to look at it this way but successful women don’t have a hard time finding a guy when they choose to start looking around. You see people moving on with their marriages and kids and lives and you want to be them. I get it. BUT what is the absolute worst thing that’ll happen if you wait? You’ll get older? You’ll be financially secure? Travel the world a bit? No one has died from these things as far as I know.
Finding someone is harder after 30 in some ways, yes. Because at that point, you are more mature, have more to offer, have seen the world from different angles and are no longer naive.
But I’d rather get married older than be vulnerable.
Don’t wait if you find a good rishta. The logistics can always be worked out with mutual understanding. You can go for a nikkah or engagement only if thats more practical for you.
I married my husband while in the middle of my professional degree. We had discussed it all beforehand and he was aware that I would have comparatively less time with him, less time for our household responsibilities and minimal financial contribution.
The first year was STRESSFUL. I wouldn’t underestimate the difficulty of managing a new marriage and education together. But I also never regretted getting married when I did. If I had to redo it, I wouldn’t delay getting married to finish the degree just because despite the stress, the marriage added a lot to my life.
I would say though that before getting married definitely get to know the person. Talk about it openly so he understands. Know that your spouse would have to compromise more to make your life easier, and you will not feel good about putting him through it. So before taking on all of that emotional stress, it is important to make sure you have a strong relationship.
If your husband is not willing to sacrifice sharing your time and attention between him and your studies than you should seriously reconsider if he is worth marring in first place.
Throughout your married life, there will be times when your time and efforts will get diverted towards other things such as raising kids, jobs, looking after elderly relatives etc. Education should be no different.
