The Imam who got my hubby and I married was an Indian Aalim visiting our local masjid. He gave a short yet effective speech on the value and responsibilities of marriage. Ate, then left.
What I'd be looking out for for kids would be:
1. An Imam who can relate to the crowd and get their attention. So a younger Imam with good command over English would be great.
2. I'd request him to talk about the sanctity of marriage, the rights and responsibilities in an Islamic home.
Personally, I get put off by speeches where hurtful remarks are made such as if you don't do this, you'll burn in hell. I think people are motivated more by love for Allah and not fear of Allah. It's nicer to highlight the mercies of Allah swt and not his potential wrath. And especially at a wedding where there's a new page on an already shaky couple's life, the last thing you want to hear is negative.
You're obviously misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. However no point in explaining yes Allah know's best.
It is absolutely uncivilized and at the height of ignorance and rudeness to tell the bride and her family that they are going to hell on her WEDDING DAY. Regardless of religious beliefs, it is also part of Islam to be respectful of all people, and that was NOT it. You cannot make excuses for him just because he is an imam. His behaviour was absolutely disgusting. What I mean to comment on is how annoying it is when certain imams turn the nikkah khutbas into the chance to go off and make their own rants (Like Deeba mentioning one who started talking about homosexuality and AIDS), which is not the time and place for it!
She was a Christian woman marrying a Muslim man, which is completely permissible in Islam. Her family is not really that religious, but they wanted to have a church ceremony anyway because it is a cultural thing, not just religious. But they were respectful enough to have the nikkah first because that was the REAL marriage. But this imam ruined that day for them, she cried afterward!
They are now married and raising their new daughter as a Muslim.
Like what more do you want? The point of my comment was not to sit here and discuss the religious perspective. The point is, the imam acted like a jahil and the non-Muslim guests probably walked out of that nikkah not feeling any better about Islam because of it.
We had a crazy one at my brother's wedding which has made my family realise that from now on we'll be asking to hear the speech in advance.. He talked about AIDS, stds and homosexuality.. It was horrific..
After going to several family and friend's weddings, I've picked and chosen what I think is important for "Imam/Qazi criteria" in the West:
Definitely someone with GOOD ENGLISH, little to no accent b/c that makes a huge difference sometimes.
Someone who can appeal to the youngsters and youth...slight humor is always good.
Talk about the roles of husband and wife after marriage...I think this is the best part and is really special for the bride and groom to hear as they are having their Nikah.
Someone who isn't coming to talk about his own agendas and personal topics.
Someone who is known for being PUNCTUAL. Imam being late throws the entire wedding off!
I really want to talk to the Imam/Qazi in detail before we decide on him for a wedding and get to know him so we know exactly what to expect on the day of and vice-versa. I feel like too many brides and grooms shy away from this bc it can border on being disrespectful by 'questioning the Imam' on how he'll do the Nikah, but I think it's important to have a mature discussion with him beforehand on what you want him to say and what your expectations are. After all, it's YOUR wedding, the most important day of your life. For the Imam/Qazi it's just another one of the hundreds of weddings he'll perform and a free dinner.
@sister Rani "They decided to do a Pakistani nikkah on one day, and then do a church ceremony the next day** in respect of both cultures**."
Sister, Its more imp to take care of religion as compared to culture.The next day of nikkah is valima for Muslims. May ALLAH (S.W.T) show us the right way.
Purpose of this msg is to share the true fact rather than pin pointing so take it in right way plz.
how bout letting people celebrate their own wedding the way they see fit?
Dear Sister Nina!
Assalam O aalikum Wa RahmatULLAH e Wa BArakatuh!!!!!
Shahadah in ISLAM means that you make commitment to ALLAH (S.W.T) that every action onwards will be based upon the orders of ALLAH (S.W.T) and on the way of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W rather then "The way they see fit".
When you declare shahadah you are bound in a contract and its not mere utterance of words. Rather you are now bound each n every action of yours on the basis of Quraan and SUNNAH and the reward you get after it can not be measured in words. so picking and choosing as it fit for you is not the teaching of Deen. May ALLAH (S.W.T) guide us all.
well inshAllah hoping to get our local Imam (african muslim) who is a very dear friend and a very important part of the community....he speaks very good english and knows EXACTLY how long to speak for regarding marriage and new life etc.
plus it would mean alot to my parents if the same imam who read their nikkah did it for their daughter.... :( ooh now im teary eyed!
My father picked the imam for my nikkah, as he is a friend of his. But he did a fantastic job! And our videographer did something really creative with the Imam’s khutbah. He put part of the khutbah playing in the background of our nikkah in the wedding highlights.
In many desi weddings in the West, Imams give a speech about marriage or advice for the couple or something. Because the role of the Imam has become a bit more prominent, people need to think a little more carefully about who to select for the big day.
What are your criteria?
Some thoughts
educated/knowledgeable about Islam
comfortable speaking in public
can appeal to both a Muslim and a non-Muslim audience
keeps things short and sweet and to the point
Those.
Also the fact that he knows my family/me in person.