How to deal with a phoopi who has been after your mother’s marriage the whole life and now is ruining your own rishtas.. do these kind of people really have the power to rid you of your happiness? I believed rishtas r made in heaven n no one can turn it away from u if it Is destined for u. But these annoying women don’t leave any opportunity to not let u be happy alas
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why are phupos so bad? 
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You cant do anything about them. I have same issue. my mum and dad were least favorite in the family and than it is us. We try to do our best and be nice to them but there is no way they will be happy.
with my own experience, you are born with this love or hate from chachoos and phupos. We including one other chachoo’s kids are least favorite. We achieved on our own and out of whole khandan, we are the only ones with career and good education even though we were always put down, never given fair chance as other cousins.
My other cousins even when they publicly humiliate my phupos (which they always do), they dont mind. We try our best to make them happy, they never are.
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.
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Things would have been better if dad could see what his sister is doing, but no, his sister can never be wrong even if she calls white as black!
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The number of sister in laws who are intent on ruining their brothers marriages/seeking revenge on their bhabhis through the children is horrendous. My puppos were evil but we were never allowed to be rude back. My sisters in law are passive aggressive and I can see the same happening with our children- being ignored and ostracised by their puppos. It hurts so much but life goes on. I always think it’s their loss most of all and that they must be seriously disturbed to hold a (silly) grudge for so long.
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My phoppos are very good i dis agreed with this post
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Same here! I’m a phupo and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my brother’s kids. I can twist this and say all Bhabis are bad, cos mine aren’t all that, but lets not stereotype!
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Well I would say to @smart_zainab that you are one of the very few extremely lucky people on this earth to have a kind paternal family, as my phoopis n my all khalas’ nands are unbearable! This is what I have seen to date.
@aliyahali No one is stereotyping phoopis here I myself would never think bad for my bhatija or bhatiji, however sadly, the evil phoopis outnumber the kind ones by a great extent
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@muspus I understand your pain, you r right its their own loss. My phoopi is like; why is her brother not filling her bank account? n so they make him fight with my mom, which I can not see. I dont know when my father will come out of their spell!
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I grew up in environment where I/we didnt get any love/care/attachment from my phupos/chachoos or even dadi. my Dada Jee loved us and we were very close to him. We were not favorite ones int he family. We were basically outsiders in the family, my mum used to do all the house work and serve all family members even though there were other bhabis too. I never saw positive phupos or chachoos when growing up. i thought it was natural.
When my nephews were born, I loved and still love them alot. my husband says that I love them more than my own kids. I always have fights but they are never serious. My bahbi knows that too. We had fight the other day and bhabi called to make sure he fought with me not with someone at school. we hug likes 20 times a day. he calls to say he loves me. i pick and drop them at school.
I dont know in future how my nephews will see things but currently i can say i am not evil phupo.
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exactly
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For those of you with lovely puppos and family members- fantastic. It’s amazing how well the world can be when things go well. Unfortunately for some of us, there are unresolved issues in previous generations that get carried forward and it’s the new generation that then recieves all the backlash.
I understand the tables can be turned and the puppos can be lovely and the sister in law and children can be villains but it doesn’t mean that the opposite isn’t true.
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One of my phupo was a demon, while other one was so sweet. My Kids have one amazing phupho who loves then to death and another who doesn’t even hold them. They come in all forms.
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I wonder when will my phoopi stop troubling us.
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Don’t have any phuppos. But my dad can neither hear nor say anything negative about his siblings even if their mistakes are obvious. It can be frustrating, but then I also think that he’s lucky that he doesn’t allow himself to be consumed by grudges; it’s unhealthy. Don’t share too much of your personal life with your phuppi. Give vague answers when she asks questions. I’ve noticed that as time goes by more and more people will start noticing the nasty tendencies in the person if they don’t shape up. They end up ruining their own image and losing respect at some point. What goes around eventually comes around. Maintain good relations with people and that will contradict any gossip she might be spreading about you. Recite your surahs/duas for protection. Even nazar can’t take place without Allah’s permission. When she does not have ultimate control over every aspect of her own life…then she can’t control anyone else’s life either.
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@redvelvet Thank you so much, your words on keeping faith on Allah brought great relief and renewed reassurance on Allah’s mercy.
Mom n I don’t even talk to her. It’s my father who updates her with the most minute details of our household. He updates her n she brainwashes him, we can see dad’s attitude changing towards us the minute he talks to her on phone or when he visits her. This has been going on for more than 3 decades now, can u imagine? It’s my father who encourages her, fault is in here. If father would think correctly she would not be able to dictate him.
Because of all this my mom always remains depressed which really really bothers me.
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I always pray teen qul and ayat ul kursi when I visit my phupos.
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Acha karte ho
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^It’s good practice…you should do it and encourage your mom to do it as well