Okay i know being the desi that we are…after the nikah is done… the bride and groom after eating mithai…HAVE to wear the big phool haar.
I dont want to wear it!!! I’m going to have my gorgeous outfit on, and I don’t want to wear it, its gonna cover it, and plus the heavy haar (experience from my engagement) is gonna pull the dupatta on my head down from the back…
however being the shy dulhan that were supposed to be and can’t move/talk much as we like…we can’t simply take it off, that would be “un-dulhan like” and disrespectful..I know I can’t talk out my family out of buying it, because again, its a MUST for the shaadi.
I personally don’t like the haar, it takes away the khoobsoorti of the outfit..
do you guys like it? what do you think? any stories?
I can't stand it and was literally thinking/having the same thoughts as you about it today...... probably because I spent the day looking at wedding clips .......
Just wear it for a couple of minutes and then take it off.. tell them it’s pulling on your dupatta and you’re not comfortable.
I refused to wear one (do we really need more stuff on top of bridal dress, jewelry AND dupatta on head?) but my sister put it around my husband when she welcomed the baraat (it’s a tradition in our family), and he had it on till Nikkah was all done. I had to force him to take it off, he was loving it!!! Once he took it off, I told my sister to hide it far, far away.. we noticed later that the roses left a slight stain on his sherwani.
Call me weird, but I love those flower garlands (the proper ones, mind you, not the bootleg ones made from 3 daisies and a mum)! Provide there are no rupees or pieces of tinsel attached to them, bridal garlands can be very beautiful, IMO. Then again, if I intended to wear a dupatta atop my head (which I steadfastly don't) I can see how it might be a problem.
Well you can't say NO obviously becaue people who put the haar around your neck are just showing their affection and being happy for your big day. For a lot of us its a tradition. What you can do however is just take few pics to make the happy and take it off. That's what i did. 2-3 pics with that haar. Took it off. But I am not going to say no to it.
Who said you HAVE to wear it? I really didnt think they do that anymore, i think its vile and your right it does ruin the whole beauty of the dress. I think you shud speak up and tell them upfront you dont want it on. If you MUST wear it, then were it for a few pics like spiral said and then remove it afterwards. But tbh i think its a horrible thing and people can show their affection in a different way for example giving you a hug or a kiss?
I wud speak up if i was you.
hmm...i think ill ask my sis who is married with kids to be on my side and just try to handle the hars not reaching me :)...because on mehndi like its ok...but on wedding day i cant..so ill depend on my sis to rescue me
let them put it one and once they are off the stage ask you sister to take it off of you. i have never seen a dulhan wearing a haar through out the wedding .
That is a really perfect balance and makes everyone happy. Because you are absolutely right, even though you are not a fan of something, it is hard to say “no” to something when someone is putting it on you with affection or has even gone through the trouble of making it for you out of their luv. So this is a good compromise… take a few pics and then take it off.
I agree with Punjabi Rose and Spiral. That is the only one day you get to wear those, so why back out of it? Your sister/cousin can remove them from time to time.
I collected all my rasam haars and took them home alongwith me. My room had that bridal sweet smell for days.
yeah thats true...im gonna just tell on of my cousins to remember to take it off discreetly afterwards, i hope they remember!
i dont know why i dont like it...i think once i wore it, and it was sooo itchy! lol
I collected all my rasam haars and took them home alongwith me. My room had that bridal sweet smell for days.
I got engaged at my house but brought my gajaray back with me when I came back to my apartment. I carried them on the plane with me because I didn't want them to break! And yea - my room smelled sweet for days and I dried those gajaray and kept them as a memory. :) So I managed to turn something I was not a big fan of into a really sweet memory. My MIL and SIL were so touched that I actually saved them and preserved them. They are hanging next to my engagement pic. :D
I had haars made to compliment my and my husbands outfit, but we only wore them for a short while and then my uncle removed them from us. Can you not pre-arrange for someone to take them off after the first few pics?
Personally I love haar from real flowers and have dried both the haars, they're a nice momento.
Once he took it off, I told my sister to hide it far, far away.. we noticed later that the roses left a slight stain on his sherwani.
in my family the guy only wears a haar not the girl..i guess its just as good i wouldnt want to wear one then!
Because you are absolutely right, even though you are not a fan of something, it is hard to say “no” to something when someone is putting it on you with affection or has even gone through the trouble of making it for you out of their luv. So this is a good compromise… take a few pics and then take it off.