• Life Insurance Agent:
Don’t let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.
• When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
• Patient: Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me
Doc: Next please.
• Eve to Adam: Do you love me?
Adam nonchalantly: Who else?.
• Osama consults a psychic about the date of his death.
Psychic: You will die on an American holiday.
Osama: Which one?
Psychic: Anyday you die shall be an American holiday.
• Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”.
• Q: How do you stop a Afghani tank?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.
• Indian soldiers capture an intruder at kashmir border. They give him a dice and tell him that if throw between 1 and 5, he would be shot
The intruder says what if he throws six?
They reply that he’ll get another throw.
• The editor of a small country newspaper, furious over several government bills that had recently been passed, printed a scathing editorial with an enormous headline: “HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS”'.
Many local Politicians were outraged and exerted tremendous pressure on him to print a retraction. He finally gave in to the pressure and ran his apology with the headline:
“HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS”.