This morning we found out that hubz sis is getting married next month (chath mangni path biya kinda thing). Hubz is obviously going and he really wanted me to come too but I said no cuz I didn’t want to take time off work on such short notice. Then an hour later I found out that my cousin (who is just like a bro to me) is also getting married next month. I told him the same thing about work but he said how he will fix the date according to when we can come so I told him that once my nand’s shaadi date if fixed then I’ll let him know n if he can fix his shaadi date around that time then I’ll request time off work. Now hubz is creating a big fuss about how he didn’t come to our wedding so why do I have to go to his n how if I can’t go to his sis’s wedding then it doesn’t matter n blah blah. This is such a stupid issue that I don’t even know what to say to him. How should I handle the situation so he doesn’t feel like I’m not taking him seriously cuz obviously it means a lot to him to be fussing so much over it …
Re: Petty argument
u go to your cousin's wedding.........he goes to his cousin's wedding...... simple
Re: Petty argument
...n how if I can't go to his sis's wedding then it doesn't matter n blah blah.
But you said you were gonna plan it accordingly so that you can attend both functions, no? So your husband should not have an issue but i think he is feeling this way because as a bro, he probably didn't see the excitement in you for attending his sis's wedding and now that its your cousin's wedding you probably showed bit more excitement if i am not wrong. Maybe that is what got to him? I don't know but the thing is you should manage in a way where you can attend both functions but if you can't attend your nand's function then by all means you shouldn't be attending your cousin's wedding either even if he plans his date according to your schedule cuz no matter what it won't sit well with your husband or the inlaws.
Good-luck!
Re: Petty argument
I didn't show excitement for either of their weddings. I am feeling too sick to show any excitement. It's just first I said no but then after I said yes I can attend both and now he's all upset and I tried talking to him but he's like 'tum nahi aa sakti tou koi farq nahi parta mat aao'. I had to bite my tongue from blurting out that fine he can go to his sis's wedding and I'll go to my cousin's. Now he's not even talking to me properly and it's driving me nuts and all I want to do is yell at him for being such a child but that'll only make matters worse so I don't know what to do!!!!!!
Re: Petty argument
Well just the fact that you didn't show any excitement for his sister's wedding is enough for him to feel this way. Did you even say that you would try to get off from work or if your inlaws can set up a later date so that you can also attend?
Sorry but i will be very honest with you, had he done the same with you for your sister's or bro's wedding you would have reacted the same way. Just like if my husband would do the same to me, i would be very offended.
Re: Petty argument
Maybe im petty here....but i would be pissed at you too if i were your husband...
Ya if he arranges the dates accordingly... U can attend ure sil's wedding... But that wasnt your intention..
Bottom line...yoy are willing to attend a couson's wedding (who didnt come to ypurs) ...but you weren't willing to get time off from work tp attend your sil's. Erm...priorities lady.... Ure her bhabi..ure husband's sis.... A wedding that would be way more imp to me (cuz of my husband), than a cousin's. Even if he were like a bro.
Now if there is no closeness between u and ure nand, thats another thing.... But ya...i think ure husband has the right to feel hurt.
Now until and unless you can see this.... Its gonna stay bitter between the 2 of you. Not much you can say :)
Re: Petty argument
It's my nand's second marriage and we are def not close (I think it has been over 6 months since I talked to her). I haven't even promised my cuz that I will come for sure. After he said that he will work out the dates according to my schedule then I thought k ab do do shaadiyan hain tou I can see if I'll get time off work. I understand where he may have felt upset but it's not like I'm saying that if his sister can set a date according to my cuz then I'll go to hers otherwise I'll only go to my cousins. If anything I'm doing the opposite and trying to work my schedule around his sisters wedding. I dont think it's a good enough reason to create such a fuss over ...
Re: Petty argument
Whatever ur relation is wth ur SIL but at the end of day she is ur huby's sis n from ur post it's evident tht u r ready to take ur time off 2 attend ur cusns wedding but not ur SIL u have set ur priority admit it u r wrong here n try 2 take time off for ur SIL wedding ur huby n inlaws will be happy whether it's 1st 2nd or 3rd wedding u r family member n u need 2 b there