Many people are convinced that men/women that are good-looking tend to have less-than-average personalities. People label attractive women as bimbos and handsome men as jerks or the epitome of beefy surfer dude hunks. Likewise, it is widely assumed that average-looking men/women tend to “make up” their lack of “good-looking-ness” by projecting very strong, positive personalities that include a high level of intelligence, energy, etc.
I personally find both these trains of thought highly generalizing and inconclusive. Is it so odd for an attractive man/woman to also possess intelligence, charisma, and style all in one package?! Likewise, I can safely say that I have come across many conventionally unattractive people who completely lack “good” personalities.
I was actually having a similar conversation at a bar last night with my friends. Usually it aint beauty. Its more like "your type" and intelligence. 3 of my friends are dating girls that they feel are smart and they are mentally compatible. But like hell they fit their bill on what they consider beautiful. Actually in two cases they are the extreme opposite. They are nothing like what my friends are physically attracted too.
Last statement, Men and women arent perfect. So they cant possess all those qualities. If they did they would be angels.
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*Originally posted by CM: *
Last statement, Men and women arent perfect. So they cant possess all those qualities. If they did they would be angels.
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I disagree. Men and women being "perfect" or "un-perfect" is in the eyes of the beholder. I may be perfect to someone but in someone else's eyes I may lack some or many qualities. It's a matter of personal opinion really so it depends on individual to individual. Doesn't it ever happen to you when you see someone and after getting to know them a little bit, you just go Wow! Meanwhile your friend is rolling his eyes at you wondering you're nuts for even thinking it. That is why I'm saying, perfection is how you view it to be in a person based on your own mindset, past experiences, worldview, etc. where a number of factors come into play, determining what is "perfect" to you and what isn't.
i personally think that its an individuals personality that makes them good looking....
if a good looking person has an awful personality, they automatically start to look less appealing... whereas if an average joe has a remarkable outlook to life and magic in his/her way of conversing.. they look gorgeous..
beauty isnt always in the eyes of the beholder... its inside an individual.. the better the personality, the more it shines :)
I disagree with the beauty is in te eyes of the beholder thing here. it is true to some extent, but it has been scientifically proven thatthere are traits and characteristics like symmetry in facial features, physicaln attributes etc that are more attractive overall.
now for the physical attractivenes's relation to personality, i dont think there are real direct or inverse proportion at play here.
There are the good looking folks who are stuck up about their looks and consequently have crappy personalities, and then you have your avg looking folks who get noticed due to their personalities more than their looks. But those are not the onlyppl, there are good looking ppl who have great personalities and avg looking ones with crappy personalities as well.
"Likewise, it is widely assumed that average-looking men/women tend to "make up" their lack of "good-looking-ness" by projecting very strong, positive personalities that include a high level of intelligence, energy, etc".(quote)
I knew a girl in college who was a very outgoing, wacky, fun personality. She was very smart, street-wise and had experience beyond her years. She always told me that she was not 'the pretty one' and so she had to be good in other ways. She felt that looks had limited her, but I saw how much more she had to offer in her dynamic personality. It IS a generalization to say good looking people are dumb or lack personality. But I think it's human nature to value qualities in yourself that other people praise. Some pretty girls are given cues all their life that their value is in their looks and so they don't develop other aspects of themselves. Similar if a young woman is praised because she is always so polite and submissive, she will find her self-worth based on those qualities. (I'm not saying it applies to everyone)
"Is it so odd for an attractive man/woman to also possess intelligence, charisma, and style all in one package?! Likewise, I can safely say that I have come across many conventionally unattractive people who completely lack "good" personalities."
No, I don't think it's odd but it is rare. I don't think the world is black and white. There are too many variations, socio-economic groups, ways of upbringing, and levels of self-esteem to color the personalities of people. Also I think that 'eye of the beholder' is also a major player in this too. Everyone has a different opinion and different needs in a partner (or themselves). But personally there is no greater quality in a person than humbleness. Whether someone is good-looking or not, if they flaunt looks or make it a main focus of themselves, that is the biggest turn-off. I think a person's inner beauty shines through.
:halo:
