10, 20 or 30 years later,
if any of your relationship failures will feel like the worst decision you made.
if yes, then would you at that point, try to own up to your mistake,
if yes, then what would you do, then, to correct it?
Re: personal strife
10, 20 or 30 years later,
if any of your relationship failures will feel like the worst decision you made.
if yes, then would you at that point, try to own up to your mistake,
if yes, then what would you do, then, to correct it?
Most importantly abt 10 years back I have this major regret of not having a a very good relationship with my mother.Now it is wayyyy better.
I have now understood that relationships r very complex...and not to judge by my one dimensional view but to try to get into people's shoes to try to understand their persepective.I do have my regrets on other things which in my book I donot want to see repeated or extented tpo that long of a time...I do believe that every major thing that happens in life has an effect in moulding everyone's personality...some for the better , some for the worst.But it does effect...My main concept is how to overcome that ...how to raise yourself up to the point that one feels that Allah had some lesson in the bad experiences and then to move on to the next level in life.:)(*I dont make too much sense to others I think:) :))*
Re: personal strife
10, 20 or 30 years later,
if any of your relationship failures will feel like the worst decision you made.
if yes, then would you at that point, try to own up to your mistake,
if yes, then what would you do, then, to correct it?
Several years down the road, I am at the point where the one and only relationship I made out of my own choice is gone sour.
I admit to this failure...However, I also say that I have given a lot and learned and gained a lot out of this.
I could say "OMG I lost blah no. of years"...But I wont...Instead I will try and count what i have got from this and I am one of the lucky ones to have gained something.
I have to decide at this point...should i carry on ...compromising and remaining patient till death do us part...Or should I say..OK we tried out best..it was not meant to be...and for the sake of all around us let us part amicably.
So what should be my most sensible option.
Amber
Your post does make sense...maybe you feel you are going round in circles, but somehow you hit the nail on the head when you say every experience moulds your personality. Therefore, you cannot stay the same person all your lives. And neither should you expect the other person to stay the same.
Re: personal strife
10, 20 or 30 years later,
if any of your relationship failures will feel like the worst decision you made.
if yes, then would you at that point, try to own up to your mistake,
if yes, then what would you do, then, to correct it?
One can only answer the question 10, 20 or 30 years from now...really.
Re: personal strife
you see that something is going TOTALLY wrong way, but that dis - ease with which you have to swallow the hurt, is worse off.
how should it not be not allowed to happen, without getting further misunderstood?
years later, sad ness and guilt, regrets and loss will haunt, & even Allah perhaps will let it be a lesson in suffering.
Re: personal strife
Does all muslims ONLY remember Allahjee, when things are bad or going through relationship failures?
I dont think, Allahjee causes us pain or lessons in suffering. Perhaps, Allahjee shows us human nature at its worse in some cases, when relationships are about to end....... We are ungreatful, its called human nature. Whats the use of regret or remorse after giving people lot of "aziat/azaab" sorrow and humiliations?
I dont consider myself as perfect, but yes, my nature is such I function best having a relationship. Its my aim to make things work and have a heaven on earth, but I can never voche for my partner's "niath" or call it responsiblity to have same agenda.
To some, an arranged marriage going sour seems against the universal law, because parents chose it all. They can not relate to why it went bad.
Personally, I dont seek the urge of living with a safety-net etc. Thus, my own choice going bad, really ugly, is my worst decision. Years from now, wont change my thinking. The evaulation of losses has already been done.
The suffering in nothing compared to hurten sense of pride/dignity. Thats the worst part of it.
Re: personal strife
men must NEVER make tall claims, if they are unable to realize them.
Re: personal strife
if after 10, 20 or 30 years i found out that i have failed then i would not want to maintain it .
becaz it has failed
Re: personal strife
God knows how much pressure he is undergoing and I only pray that he makes the decision that is satisfying to him. Amen.
It is too much pride for a man, to opely show the 50/50 break he is pit against, when it comes to making his life decisions, going over his family's will or favorite schemes, versus his own heart's calling.