I have a very personal matter @ home, i would like to share…
I got married about 6months ago. My husband – praise be to Allaah – fears Allaah with regard to the way he treated me for those 2weeks, but I have a psychological complex because of a father who did not fear Allaah with regard to me, my siblings and my mother, which created resentment in my heart and in my siblings’ hearts towards him. I cannot help but be upset because of my mother’s and siblings’ suffering. They are still suffering and that affects the way I treat my husband who respects me, but his patience sometimes runs out when he calls me and hears i am so sad most of the time and he thinks that I like to be miserable. What should I do?
Also, my siblings and I cannot respect my father because of the way he has treated us; what should we do to rid ourselves of our resentment towards him? We try to respect him, but he does not respect anyone and he suffers from a complex whereby he hates everyone who is better than him, and he loves to show off and to stand out, i.e., he wants to show people that he owns a great deal even though he does not own anything, rather he is in debt.Him and my daadi(dads mom) are both just against us & my mom’s side of family(my inlaws),my daadi just has total control over him, he only listens to her (my parents been married for 20 years now),my mom cannot do/say anything because he will only get angry-my dads side are all ignorant,don’t wanto help us sort this problem, they happy that we are being punished like this -cuz of no ‘brother’ - our daadi just calling us manhoos (daadi don’t have daughter of her own -she don’t feel the pain of calling us that, but she has 10 more grand-daughters-from her other 5 sons -she loves them all) -infront/back - she forced me to get married last year, didn’t give us ‘time’ for shopping, i wasn’t mentally ready, i didn’t have a nice wedding day- i am so regretting it all…my inlaws are molvi type, they say ‘patience’ is the best thing, let daadi/dad do anything they wish,they will realise of their wrong doings very soon…they just let ‘nikaah’ happen…and abit of crap celebration…i’ve compromised enough, i dunno what future holds for me…
i’ve tried advising my dad that Allah is watching, i’ve tried many things to help calm him,but its been really tough for me, i receive a negative response.
Thanks for reading…sorry my thread is ‘confusing’ - my emotions are all over the place…
I hope that you can give some useful advice (also from islamic point of view) about my personal problem.