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*Originally posted by saby: *
ppl can plan whatever they want but i dont think you ppl havent heard that every baby is born with his/her rizq... so why worry, Allah has plans for everyone ...
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but sometimes u have to plan things.... i hate the fact that some ppl leave all their life things on allah......yea somethings should be left upto allah but like you have to PLAN things out before....like when to have kids...when to get married....when to start saving for your kids college fees etc.....
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*Originally posted by Lusi: *
What if you get laid off?...What if you loose all your money after having kids? Do we have any control on that money?
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No we don't have any control over that money nor do we have control over our future while sitting in the present, so if your spouse is laid off or you lose all your money, you make it work AS A COUPLE to bring things back to the equilibrium through support and positive reinforcement. You wait out the trial period until things get better and the spouse finds work. You don't leave your spouse out in the cold. How could you? The marriage would mean nothing at that point. After all, this is the true test of a relationship and while some people may be able to ride things out, other may not. Giving up is never ever the answer. You give your spouse as much support as possible to get back on his/her feet. There are many trials and tribulations in marraige but as long as a couple can weather out the storms together, their marriage will remain strong and healthy, setting a positive example for their children.
there is something called planing in life. e.g. if you wana be doctor you have to study hard to get admission in Medical college and then study your arse off again for next 5 years and then if you want to specialize, study again and so life goes on.
some things you can't plan like death or being redundant from your job etc , but some thing you can like providing better future for your next generation and saving money so nextime your make redundant you atleast have some thing to live on.
Off course every kid is born with his own food , in that case you were also born with your quota , so i asume all day you just sit in front of computer and your tummy fills up automatically with your share of food??????????But dose it happens in the real world ???? no,
but in real world you have to work to earn money to buy the food for your self
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*Originally posted by sweetpie: *
I would love to give my children BMWs at their high school graduations (if they make the 4.0 GPA mark which they will if they're my kids), etc. I can happily go on and on.
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I got a BMW when I was in the 11th grade, no big deal.
^Exactly, kewlsolara. I mean, even though my parents have provided my siblings and I will alot of creature comforts...a nice home, college education, cars, and other material things we want...you have to understand that being not even first generation Pakistani-Americans, they still value things like a decent house, education (alot!), etc. above all else, which is great. My dad came to this country almost 35 years ago, got his Master's in Engineering from an Ivy League university by working part-time and taking out student loans, and has given us a cozy lifestyle. It's by no means a jet-setting one like perhaps that of some of my parents' Pakistani family friends who live in $1,000,000+ homes with Jags, Merc, and BMWs for each member of the family, but we're very comfortable mash'allah.
In my generation, I think Pakistani-Americans will value these things (however, unfortunately some may take them for granted) but their ideals will reflect much more and I firmly believe that they'll work twice as hard if they have to in order to meet these more stringent ideals for themselves and their children.
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*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
Lusi and Saby,
there is something called planing in life. e.g. if you wana be doctor you have to study hard to get admission in Medical college and then study your arse off again for next 5 years and then if you want to specialize, study again and so life goes on.
some things you can't plan like death or being redundant from your job etc , but some thing you can like providing better future for your next generation and saving money so nextime your make redundant you atleast have some thing to live on.
Off course every kid is born with his own food , in that case you were also born with your quota , so i asume all day you just sit in front of computer and your tummy fills up automatically with your share of food??????????But dose it happens in the real world ???? no,
but in real world you have to work to earn money to buy the food for your self
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I dont mean to say that you dont need to do any saving for your kids. Ofcourse everyone wants the best for their kids. And they have to stuggle for that best. But all I am saying one should not be too much materialistic. I am in college and I dont have any car (that doesnt make my parents any less then anyone. ).. my parents are best..I have their love , and their support (in every means) in whatever I do. So obviously we have to do planning for our kids but we should not go for too much materialism and be thankful to God for whatever he has blessed us with.
^ Lusi yess that makes sense. Too much materializm is offcourse bad.
I my self didn't had car till i was 20 , even my father sold my motorbike after i got home with torn pants and bleeding knee's and elbows ::)
In simple words every parents wants best for their kids in their own capacity. What really matters is how many actually think about it before producing the kids and how many realize after having them. :)
Sweetpie , I agree someof us just never realize the sacrifices our parent have made to give us best life, and never try to learn from their expiriences.
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*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
In simple words every parents wants best for their kids in their own capacity. What really matters is how many actually think about it before producing the kids and how many realize after having them. :)
[QUOTE] Originally posted by armughal: *
**Quran 17:31* Slay not your children, fearing a fall to poverty, We shall provide for them and for you....
when Allah says in His Book that He is going to provide rizq for them, then why r u so bothered????
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So how many kids you are going to have ??? According to medical science, woman can now produce babies easily up to age of 40+ . so lets say you married a girl of 22 so will you be willing to have 18 kids i.e. a kid every year. because Quran says do not stop the proces.
Do you simply know that expenditures of a kid between the age of 1-15 are 3 times more than a man/woman of age 20+.
by the way how many other sayings of quran you really follow in your life???
If someone is stable and mature enough to get married, then they definetly have the ability to have children. Fear of not having enough money or poverty or the like is just really an unmerited fear. You think everyone's parents, even yours, were financially 100% stable, chances are no. Actually, it can be shown that people become more stable AFTER they have children as the responsiblity on them becomes real, they work harder, and are more motivated and have a bigger sense for life. Besides, just like in marriage, whats written for both people in a couple will come to them, and when you have children, they have their own luck written to them from allah. So, I say, why wait?
