“Perfect Shot”
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity;
looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the
wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his
exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted
ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man-you don't stand a chance in hell of hitting her
from here!"
“Death Row”
A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death
row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought
forward first.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner,
strapping him in.
"No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and
nothing happened.
Under State law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is
to be released, so the chemist was released.
Then the biologist was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?"
"No, just get on with it."
The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened,
so the biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
"Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue
wires over, you might make this thing work."