right after marriage?
Are you in favour of that? Just curious, I don’t see the point. How on earth are they supposed to adapt to each other by themselves without any distractions if babies start coming after a year?
Why is this is do engrained in our desi culture?
This happens so many times to people I know too, they get married and we meet after two years and guess what? Pa and Bibi jee have two kids already!
Re: People who have kids..
tuwade paihay lagde ne? 
On a serious note, it has both positive and negative sides to it. I think it’s cool if a couple wants to have kids asap and its fine if they don’t. And no I’m not going to elaborate, I’m hungry! 
Re: People who have kids..
I came across as criticising, I didn’t mean to but I never get this.
Esp in marriages where the couples hardly know each other and then go and have two kids literally asap 
Very mind-boggling.
Re: People who have kids..
i was thinking about this the other day actually...i think especially if the marriage is arranged...but then i can see how it could be a good thing as it gives the couple a chance to bond to a deeper level over the children
Re: People who have kids..
^ I disagree.
That would mean that the children are the only common thing that couples bond over..and I doubt they could get to know each other more closely if they have children right away.
Also makes no sense, some marriage God forbid don't work, what then? won't having children immediately be a disaster?
Re: People who have kids..
I guess it depends on age and how much the couple wants to have children. For some people children are the only thing they’re looking forward to after marriage :halo:. Oh and the family pressure.
But personally I think there should be a wait of 3-4 years and just have fun together before the kabab mein haddi’s come along.
Re: People who have kids..
Depends on many things including the stage of life both (wife and Husband) are at.
and to be honest, unless one have kids, its hard for them to understand how big of a blessing kids are. Most of the singles think of kids as kabab main haddi or sort of "chain" stopping them from doing things.
Re: People who have kids..
^ DC I agree, I am not disagreeing with having kids, I am talking about timing :D
Re: People who have kids..
I don't know what to say Shak, I know a lot of couples (with an arranged marriage) who had a child quite quickly after marriage and they had no problems bonding or whatever... That said, I also know of other couples (including my sister and BIL) who want to spend some time together before even thinking about kids... They also want to focus on their careers for now... so thats why I've a hard time taking one side.. I think its cool both ways.
Re: People who have kids..
Its hard to imagine that someone want to “delay” the blessings 
Re: People who have kids..
I think its more about wanting to spend time alone with one's spouse than 'delaying'.
Personally speaking I'd rather wait sometime before having kids, saari zindagi pari ho gee bachon ke liye. :)
Barbie I am not exactly against it, I just don't understand it. As I said leaving kids aside what if the marriage doesn't work out after a year or so? What then? As the spouses will have the added stress of children too.
Re: People who have kids..
Personally, I wouldn't wanna have kids at least 2 years after marriage. :p I want to travel the world with my pwince charming!
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most of the couples i've seen who delay children for "enjoying" or traveling the world end up just working their butts off to save up "enough" money for like 3-4 years,
it never happens, and then they have kids :) its just us desis who've made pregnancy and kids such a big deal as if its a handicap for the rest of your life...can't do this,
cant do that...when infact, these things don't ever get in the way of career building, traveling, bonding, etc. infact, they enhance each of these experiences in such a special way :)
it def. hasn't affected my plans in life at all.
Re: People who have kids..
As a woman I felt incomplete without kids and I wanted to experience the pregnancy and birth procedure so that was the reason.
Re: People who have kids..
Things don't always happen according to our wishes and plans. You might wish to have a child 2-3 years later but end up getting pregnant only a few months after the wedding. I think at least 2 years after marriage would be good. Get comfortable with one another before having a family.
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I got pregnant a week after our shaadi.. for the longest time during my pregnancy I was upset why this happened to me..since my husband had moved from pakistan and was just starting his masters.. Anyhow long story short having our daughter has brought us closer to each other in special way.. not just that I am glad I had her early because now that we are ready to start off our life by ourselves we can include her with us and she just makes everything more exciting for us :).. Now for our date nights we have my mom who is always more then happy to watch her grand daughter so we always get our alone time to go out and have fun..
Re: People who have kids..
^ Which is all and good
But you seriously can't tell me having a child for a couple is the same as when they're own their own the two of them in terms of the time they get to spend together.
Re: People who have kids..
It does not matter if they have a baby early or wait for it, but they should take care of one thing i.e. not to have a baby too early like 5 or 6 months after the marriage because this will land them in trouble 
Re: People who have kids..
It depends on the couple...some want children straight away, some don't. There's no right or wrong answer. As long as they're both happy then it's all gravy.
Re: People who have kids..
All gravy?
