Re: People who force groceries on you while you have enough money to buy them
This can’t be compared to a gift. Whenever a friend gives me a gift, I accept it. That is normal. This is a situation when my daughter kept explaining we do have money for groceries and her friend kept saying it’s not true and insisted on giving us groceries, no matter how much my daughter explained we don’t need it and certainly do have money to buy food and still have something for today even. That is absolutely not the same as giving a gift.
Her family did certainly see me at school. My daughter was in their home just once, after their awkard behaviour she didn’t go there again. We were both thinking that maybe the family was having a bad day or maybe being ill or whatever reason. But then seeing us again and looking at us in an unfriendly manner before ignoring us, that was not nice. The friend herself was nice and normal though, but her family wasn’t.
It could be that they hate the fact that my daughter has cut her hair completely short. Most of our Pakistani people here hate the fact that I’m divorced and refuse a second marriage and am living alone with my children. To some of them it’s a scandal. And the fact that my daughter mostly doesn’t weir salwar kameez, she is always covered though and doesn’t wear unIslamic clothing, yet still some Pakistani family members and family friends have made negative remarks about the appearance of my daughter. She wanted her hair to be completely short, to see how it feels and because it’s easy, it was almost bald. I didn’t like it, but I did cut it for her. She looked suprisingly good in it. Not it’s growing again. It is possible that perhaps the family of her friend was shocked to see a Pakistani 16 - year old girl with that look, trousers, shirt, short hair. Her friend likes it and is kind, but maybe her family doesn’t. It could be a totally different reason too.
I agree with you that when you help someone and they thank too much and too often, it does feel strange and I often become uncomfortable too.
Anyway, I’m hoping that saying all this openly here will help some of us to give a different look at some situations and to look at our own behaviour as well. That includes me of course.
Sometimes there are misunderstandings. Something can be going on the other can’t possibly know and then everything looks different than it is. Perhaps it’s a misunderstanding between that family and us. But that’s why it would have been nice if they would have allowed me to talk to them, get to know each other a bit so we can understand each other. Then we can discover if our views were wrong or right about each other. And that helps us in future contacts with other people.
Maybe they are insulted that you gave them money and still hold a grudge. Just forget about it im sure it will all blow over and things will be back to normal. So far if the daughter is kind to your daughter let them hangout if its doing no harm.
Perhaps you could invite the daughter for dinner and ask her to bring her mother along one day to talk to her but if i was you i wouldn’t bring up the incident unless she does incase the mother doesn’t feel comfortable about it. Make a friendship with the mother it will be nice if both your daughter and you were friends with them than rather just your daughter , im sure it was a misunderstanding
