Re: People having problems with Daughters
crescent, thanks for opening this thread.
you have touched upon, an issue that is of great impact as you point out... for the daughters themselves, most importantly and for their parents and the societal unethical and unfair behaviors and practices.
the key here is distraction from the personal responsibility to be fair to all children, which shows through the compensatory mentality to attribute more strain and burdensomeness with female children, to better care for male children.
the lack of control in the lives of male children is caused because female children are pressured in unfair ways.
boys can go out and stay out late, girls cant
boys can establish career and study further till late and be away from home, but girls cant or a lot of
obstacles are caused in their way to become independent.
Boys have an active social and sexual life, as they grow up to be men, whereas girls are tabood not to have it and totally shut out that part of their lives as they grow up to be young women.
So on and so forth
then, the whole thrust of marriage and marrying who parents choose... something that further damages self esteem and autonomy of women.
all in all, these things KEEP female children down graded and dependent.
What is the solution to this?
In the context of the anecdote which you presented, the best you can do and could have done, is to encourage the people in the family, to welcome the 3rd female child. Other concerned people only need do, what will make the most difference: indicate through their choice of words and behaviors, actions and thoughts, that having female daughters is fine and normal that they are valuable just like boys are. As a friend or an acquaintance, directly and indirectly, carefully, people must tell father and the mother as well as other resentful members of a bigger family, that parents must love their daughters a lot and make them self sufficient and become a reason of pride for the parents, when they grow up.
with gradual and consistent changes in behaviors of other people, around parents of the multiple daughters, a positive change will take place in how daughters are viewed and given the safe space to be raised in, where they will thrive just as well and equally, as male children are provided the nurturing care, to be.