{1} The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
[2] The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
[3] We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?
[4] It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
[5] It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
[6] Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome."
[7] Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
[8] Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
[9] It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
[10] Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.
[11] whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.
[12] Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
[13] Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
[14] Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
[15] Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
[16] The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action
Didn’t make me laff.