Re: PCOS and rishtas
My thoughts below are based on the assumption that this is a totally arranged rishta and the guy is not a M.D. (neither are his parents or siblings).
In my opinion, PCOS is not something that should be discussed during the rishta process. You wrote yourself that the chance of problems are “small”. If 10% of women with PCOS resort to IVF…that means a whopping 90% don’t. If the chances of pregnancy problems or infertility was higher…more closer to 50%…then my opinion would be different. Let’s face it…most non-medical people aren’t capable of objectively looking at factual data when it comes to these things. Infertility/pregnancy issues are are easy to blow out-of-proportion by a desi guy (or his family) who have 0 medical background and who will ultimately rely on what they “hear” from others rather than take the time to truly research understand this.
Who cares whether or not you or we think it’s “acceptable” for the guy to share this info? Let’s deal with what the reality is…the FACT is that once you share this information…you have no way to control it. The guy in a arranged rishta situation has no emotional connection to you and has not made any sort of commitment. If the guy himself is not a M.D., it’s not unreasonable for him to go to his mother/father/brother/sister or even a friend to ask about this. Realistically…what are the odds that a guy is going to spend hours himself researching this to learn about it? And once the guy shares this information with a 3rd party…again…no guarantee who he/she will share this with.
Share it with one guy…he shares it with his family…who in turn shares it with others who “promise” not to share it…next thing you know the entire Pakistani community has branded you infertile.