A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he’s a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don’t worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don’t want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel-
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I’m under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn’t I, you stupid damn bloody fool"
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