Does anyone know the actual procedure for a Pathan wedding? I have been to a few, but each one was a bit different. All i know is that there is a Mehendi and then dancers come and dance with the women and male dancers com and dance with the male - there is male and female segregation…I wanna know the exaclt format of a Pathani Village wedding and what the average costs are? Thank you for your help!!
PS: They are no where near Panjabi weddings!
Re: Pathan village weddings
hehe I've never been to one but from what I hear there is a lot of dancing
Re: Pathan village weddings
Yeah there's alot of dancing...the girls and women dance at the wedding with tambuls (tambourines), there's gun-firing during the wedding, in the villages we usually block the roads sometimes even dig them up lol and you can only pass and get through to the wedding till you pay up or give chickens in exchange... some families from the brides side hit the grooms family or friends with tomatoes and rotten eggs, the other side does the same... its supposed to be a fun rasam type thing (before the wedding day of course)
Most weddings as per tradition take place on a Thursday or Friday... the engagement/party is only supposed to happen at the guy's place... soon after the guys family visits the brides family (only women can go) with money, gifts, and a fruit basket... then theres a thing known as kameez tseeri kawal, basically where the grooms family gives her her wedding jora... a couple days after the wedding the bride is supposed to go back to her parents home and after like a day or two she goes back with lots and lots of food and then the husbands family calls over their friends and family and serves them that food....
Cost im not too sure about, but its depending on how lavish you want the whole affair to be :)
Re: Pathan village weddings
awww that sounds so cool!
yeah that is a lot different from the punjabi weddings...well atleast the weddings i've been to...yet there is a bit of similarity to the weddings we have in our family.
Re: Pathan village weddings
Yeah its real fun! I wanna go to another one so badly! :p
Re: Pathan village weddings
Heheheheeee... thanks for the detailed description... I went to my sisters wedding when i was like 15 years old. But i dont remember much of it....
Re: Pathan village weddings
^ Are you having a pathaan wedding or just curious? Because if you are having the wedding, than why not just ask your family/in-laws? :)
Re: Pathan village weddings
Yes, we are pure 100% Pathan and we speak Pashto!
I dnt wanna ask family, because I can imagine the scenario: "Moma whats the procedure for getting marriage in the village?" - She would offer me blank stares "Why you wanna know that for?" "cuz i wanna", "what are you upto?"...."nothing, i just wanna know what a paki wedding is like"....."its not your problem to deal with", "But I wanna know"...."SHUT UP OTHERWISE YOURE NOT GETTING MARRIED!"....This is the kind of relationship me and my mother have. Asking the in-laws is a BIG no no.... Pathan culture is so so so conservative. Girls never question anything like this.
^ Are you having a pathaan wedding or just curious? Because if you are having the wedding, than why not just ask your family/in-laws? :)
Re: Pathan village weddings
OK i can imagine not asking your in-laws… but not even your parents? They DO know you’re getting married right? So why would they be so suspicious? 
I’m guessing pathaan weddings are the saem as punjabi weddings IN THE SENSE THAT each family does something differently..
If you cant find out, just sit back and enjoy the ride…prepare to be surrpriseD 
Re: Pathan village weddings
No no... they know about my marriage! That was just an example of a conversation between me and my mother.... fruitless. Anyway I know that they are different then panjabi weddings. My sister recently married a panjabi and hers was a typical panjabi wedding. Their stuff was a little bit different, like feeding the groom milk....wats that about? I know we dont do that in our weddings....
Re: Pathan village weddings
^ That's called the doodh-pilai... the bride's sister feeds the groom milk or something at the wedding> i'm not sure of the origins/actual meanings :D
Re: Pathan village weddings
i'm guessing the rasm has a lot of meanings behind it. like delaying the rukhsati. and i guess a symbolism or a sampling of all the nakhray the saali with uthaing of her jeeja.
Re: Pathan village weddings
Yeah.... they gave me a cup of milk and told me to feed it to him, I was like WWhatttttttttttt???...I went and did it and he refused to drink it! Huh!...What rudeness... :-)
^ That's called the doodh-pilai... the bride's sister feeds the groom milk or something at the wedding> i'm not sure of the origins/actual meanings :D
Re: Pathan village weddings
^ LOL its meant to be rude, its a whole drama-mini-play between the families.. :D