Lately, this has started to worry me alot. I dont know what to do about this. I was thinking my parents would learn to accept the differences between them and live in peace but as the days pass by, their differences and unwillingness to accept each other’s likes/dislike is increasing. Before, we siblings used to help lighten up the situation in different ways but now each of us is so depressed about his/her own life and away from them (parents) and each other that we cant do much. It also looks like we are fed up by now with their daily arguments and objections to what the other has said/done.
This is hurtful. None of them understands and trying to explain them to learn to live like mature adults, we lose our own ability to think straight and know who is right and who is wrong. None wants to admit his/her mistake. There is so much hate because of which it seems very difficult to reconcile between them.
I am also worried about my younger brother and sister who live with them. It is effecting their lives alot. But none of them seem to understand. All they do is express their hate for the other to them. It depresses them more.
Another bout of depression today. I am not too hopeful about the success my own marriage. I will go crazy soon. To help them, I have to be in a right state of mind but I think I am losing the power to see in the right direction myself to help them with anything.
It's indeed sad to grow up in a household where the heads are at eachother all the time. They are supposed to be our role models.
MG, the best thing you and your siblings, who I assume are all grown up can do is to not let your parents arguments affect you one bit. You all need to accept the fact that their marriage is a failure. They did not divorce because they did not have the guts to and both were in denial. Tell them straight up NOT to involve you (and siblings) in their mundane issues.
There is nothing much you and your siblings can do now. The corrective phase has been long over I am afraid. You have to swallow the bitter pill that they are like that and they would not change unless God miracuolosuly makes them softer to eachother. Its not easy to deal with such situation and work for a better future for yourself but its not impossible. Work your way out for yourself and your younger siblings living with them. Be patient, its a wonderful cure for all ills.
i know what you mean. But lately my parents are getting along because we did a decorating project which wouldn't come together unless everyone got along. We'v finished that project and they are still to one another and look very happy.
Maybe your sublings or yourself can try to make thm do sometghing together, or maybe you can do it as a family that may 'force' them to accept each other.
I hope my example helped
You and your siblings need to put your foot down. Next time they fight, tell them exactly how you feel, pour your heart out and hopefully they may improve a little bit.
Also, make plenty of duaa. May Allah (SWT) help your family as well as everyone else's, ameen.
ditto what Sadiyah said. next time they start fighting, i suggest you start yelling with them too. it might sound something stupid, but believe me this actually works. they parents need to come out of their shell, and their own world, and need to hear first hand from their kids how much their animosity is actually hurting their children, whether they choose to see it or not.
also about your siblings, you need to make them understand that they have to ignore their problems. they are the parent's problems, and they have to deal with them themselves. dil pay baat rakh laynay say kuch nahin hota. they need to find alternative ways of dealing with the situation, instead of exerting all their thoughts and energy on this feeling of hate towards the other.
no offence but I think that sort of “kumbaya” experience is highly over-rated. Putting together a chair won’t make desi parents love each other. That sort of stuff only works with whiteys.
its tough and very difficult. Sometimes you have to leave things up to Allah. Hang in there
I am not sure what to say here.... All i can say that child who grow up in that household will turn out to be someone alot more different than other people from their age group.