Re: Password sharing
I do agree that it denotes a lack of trust. And similarly, sharing passwords does not build trust as such. Why bother? How immature is it to pry into every aspect?
No it does not. As I said before, its a privacy issue.
My inbox have mails from my friends and some relatives who wanted some advise from me but they want me to keep it to myself. Begum's inbox might have same mails from her friends which they want her to keep to herself.
Re: Password sharing
I meant that asking for the password denotes a lack of trust. Wanting to invade privacy comes from what exactly? A curiousity to KNOW everything, doubt that you dont know everything.
No it does not. As I said before, its a privacy issue.
My inbox have mails from my friends and some relatives who wanted some advise from me but they want me to keep it to myself. Begum's inbox might have same mails from her friends which they want her to keep to herself.
Re: Password sharing
I meant that asking for the password denotes a lack of trust. Wanting to invade privacy comes from what exactly? A curiousity to KNOW everything, doubt that you dont know everything.
makes sense.
Re: Password sharing
same way, not sharing your pw could mean you have something to hide, whenever the husband/wife comes around you close your laptop, privacy issues ... ???
now you are talking about something different, what i am saying is not related to asking passwords to snoop around, check the other replies from women posters, what is the problem with them checking their husbands emails ... what is the problem in their husbands letting them check their emails?
according to your logic, im gona have a separate bank account to i dont want her to know what am i spending on for example
privacy issues is bogus concept when it comes to spouse - the people who have issues with not sharing passwords with husbands/wives are clearly insecure or have some other issues
ifs and buts are just there to give variable scenarios.
Now a hypothetical situation:
you are overworked and thinking of some huge techincal project at work. Now your spouse obviously senses you are pre-occupied. Would you like it if she keeps pestering you 'kya baat hai..ap pareshan hain..kya hua hai...mujhe to batayein'
Wouldn't that irk you ? She being a housewife or in some completely other profession wouldn't understand all the technicalities. So her continuous pestering would get on your nerves, wouldn't it? That is what giving space means. Your SO can sense something is wrong but is considerate enough to let you deal with it on your own and give you the space and time to talk about it when you want to.
Now about sharing passwords. I think it would be immature to ask one's SO to give me all their passwords, bank pins etc and snooping in their phones or accounts. This means there is lack of trust. When one is living together asking for such time becomes unimportant because eventually a person would know everything naturally without ASKING for it.
That's all about space.
Re: Password sharing
@Demesne exactly. It's about *asking *for these things that denotes lack of trust or suspicion of some sort.
Re: Password sharing
be careful what you say demesne
Dont blame him. Perhaps its the begum answering. And who knows, her day might be going badly :)
Re: Password sharing
asking for password and giving your pw are two completely different things
Re: Password sharing
now you are talking about something different, what i am saying is not related to asking passwords to snoop around, check the other replies from women posters, what is the problem with them checking their husbands emails ... what is the problem in their husbands letting them check their emails?
yaar itnee barr dhakey chukey alfaaz main bata chika hoon privacy....private mails from friends....etc etc.
Let me speak out loud then. How would a like reading pms problem mails from wife's friend and then face the friend in daily life?
Sometimes keeping the pardah is best thing to do....
Re: Password sharing
same way, not sharing your pw could mean you have something to hide, whenever the husband/wife comes around you close your laptop, privacy issues ... ???
now you are talking about something different, what i am saying is not related to asking passwords to snoop around, check the other replies from women posters, what is the problem with them checking their husbands emails ... what is the problem in their husbands letting them check their emails?
according to your logic, im gona have a separate bank account to i dont want her to know what am i spending on for example
privacy issues is bogus concept when it comes to spouse - the people who have issues with not sharing passwords with husbands/wives are clearly insecure or have some other issues
Yes my husband has a separate bank account and so do I apart from our joint accounts. Does that make a difference? To me, no it doesn't. At the end of the day if there's anything worth discussing about finances, he would do it. I have never given him my fb password or email address's password..and neither has he asked and vice versa. But at the same time all of these are saved on our web browsers and there are times when he had to call me from work asking me to log in to his account from his laptop to forward some important official mail.
**BUT **neither of us had this intimate, serious talk right after our wedding where we said 'yes please give me ALL your passwords and I would give you mine'
Re: Password sharing
how about adding one more page in Nikkah Nama where dulha and dulhan will list all the passwords. Qazi sahab will have one copy too so he can login to accounts occasionally and make sure k miaan bv koi ghair sharaiee communication tu nahi ker rahey :)
Re: Password sharing
dude are you serious - you edited your post later
no need to speak out load -
if i speak out loud it would mean me saying i am NOT snooping around her emails and reading her friends personal emails
just BECAUSE i know her password does NOT mean first thing i do in the morning is clear my suspicions - just BECAUSE i gave my wife my password does NOT mean anything except that i have nothing to hide from her ...
yaar itnee barr dhakey chukey alfaaz main bata chika hoon privacy....private mails from friends....etc etc.
Let me speak out loud then. How would a like reading pms problem mails from wife's friend and then face the friend in daily life?
Sometimes keeping the pardah is best thing to do....
Re: Password sharing
these examples are not relevant if its not because of privacy issues - privacy issues means you dont want your husband to something that is there ...
again why do you keep on pounding the idea of asking for passwords - i never said anything of that sort
Yes my husband has a separate bank account and so do I apart from our joint accounts. Does that make a difference? To me, no it doesn't. At the end of the day if there's anything worth discussing about finances, he would do it. I have never given him my fb password or email address's password..and neither has he asked and vice versa. But at the same time all of these are saved on our web browsers and there are times when he had to call me from work asking me to log in to his account from his laptop to forward some important official mail.
**BUT **neither of us had this intimate, serious talk right after our wedding where we said 'yes please give me ALL your passwords and I would give you mine'
Re: Password sharing
^ughh we are going around in circles.
Didn't I just highlight that both of us have not shared passwords either. As in not asked not given. Does that make sense?
Re: Password sharing
So the end of the debate is:
ASKING for a password denotes lack of trust. Why do you need it? Dont you have an email of your own? Or a FB?
Giving your password voluntarily is unnecessary but can denote an extension of trust?
Re: Password sharing
oh man
point of discussion is not 'asking for password to snoop around'
it is not 'didnt ask didnt give'
its privacy issues - meaning 'asked and not given' (the giver side of the story only)
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Re: Password sharing
I can not give my password to my begum even if asked, Its my X+Y+Z's names :(
Re: Password sharing
see, ty for helping me out
lol
I can not give my password to my begum even if asked, Its my X+Y+Z's names :(
Re: Password sharing
I don't believe in having to share passwords to be able to gain trust. You shouldn't have the need to "check up" on your significant other if you trust them.
If a partner willingly gives his/her password, then yes, as demesne said, it's an extension of trust but asking for it point to doubt.
Re: Password sharing
well my SO and I tell almost everything to each other that we find important but we don't know each others passwords.
Although it wouldn't matter anyway considering I don't understand Urdu he can't read Japanese.
My Urdu vocab so far...
mijhe thori thori urdu ati hai
salam
chipkoo
kya hal hei? (I can't remember if its hei or hai)
mujhe ap se preyar hei