Would you send your daughters to live on their own in a new strange place without family?
Lets say you live in Karachi, considering the halaat there, would you send her there to study & live in a hostel?
Re: Parents…
i know of few families who have sent their daughters from abroad to Karachi and to Islamabad for the religious education.
Re: Parents…
no. i wouldn’t send me there all alone either.
Re: Parents…
Yes, I would.. I lived away (both for uni and afterwards) and my Mum lived in halls when she was at Dhaka University… that was over 30 years ago..
I’d actually quite like my (future) daughter to experience living away from home before marriage.. it would be good for her imo.. would love her to travel as well..
Re: Parents…
No. obviously
Re: Parents…
Those who said no. what are your reasons for that? Please elaborate.
Would you send your daughters to live in a dorm when they can totally live with her family & study?
Re: Parents…
If my children can study from home then that’s what I would encourage. Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending my kids away from home to study. There’s a lot of bad stuff going on everywhere these days.
Re: Parents…
Yeah…I don’t think that I’m just ready to send her away on her own…
I will revisit this thought in a few years. Chances are I won’t change my mind.
Re: Parents…
I would be more worried about the sons to be honest. Girls know how to to handle themselves. They know safety precautions, limits etc. Other folks allow their sons out at 2am so I would be worried they would get swept away by too much azadi with their friends.
Re: Parents…
I would never live in places like Karachi alone even if my parents forced me to go there!
Re: Parents…
My parents never sent me or my sisters anywhere. After I graduated college, at 21, I chose to move to a different city. When my sisters were 18, they chose a university in a different city and my parents supported their decision. One of my sisters chose to move back home after finishing her bachelors and is currently in graduate school (while living at home). My youngest sister is choosing to join a PhD program and will move to a different state in August to start the 5-year course and my parents 100% support her.
I don’t plan on “sending” my children (son or daughter) anywhere. But once they’re adults, if THEY choose to move out of the home to attend school or for a job…I will support their decision.
Re: Parents…
Don’t see what the big deal is - if Uni is over an hour away, I would send them to live in dorm. Anything less, just can’t see the point to be honest (unless you have a toxic home environment), although some do thrive being out and about for the first time so to speak. Meh, I shall play it by ear.
Re: Parents…
I will never ever send my daughter away from me no matter what. Just getting educated from a reputed institute isn’t the only purpose of life.
There are plenty other things to consider when you talk about a respectful Islamic upbringing.
Re: Parents…
Exactly, there are so many girls who have a decent character & are nice in every other thing but not getting rishtas as they don’t have professional degrees cuz parents just didn’t want to send their daughters away considering the halaat in Pakistan. They just end up doing something private which hold no value at all. I think guys should overlook this as having professional degrees is not everything. but then again you find some guys who even don’t mind if girl has slept around or have a past. We live in a shallow world where material things matter more to people than morals. Guys dont want bakirdaar girls they want girls with professional degrees & if they have that who cares about if they have slept around after all thats past 
& when you live in places like hostels & dorms, your access is pretty easy to ****ty things (if you live abroad then its a lot easier) as compared to when you live in parents place. Again I am not saying dorm girls are characterless & other are not.
If I had a girl, I wouldn’t send her to live in a hostel or a dorm no matter how safe the environment is there.
Re: Parents…
not opposed to sending kids away for schooling/good job opportunities etc etc.. but within reason. karachi is pretty unsafe. i thought that was the question asked in original post.. whether one would be happy sending their child to a questionable place to study. i think the obvious answer for most parents in that situation would be no.
Re: Parents…
Didn’t you say earlier that your kids must go to boarding school?
Re: Parents…
The truth is that if a kid wants to live out, they will. No one can really stop them. I’m going off of my own experience - purely from a scholastic or academic viewpoint, one can attain the same degree classification traveling from home as one does living in dorms. As far as boarding school goes, I think that’s a little different. I would count 11-18 as ones formative years. As such, the opportunities and advantages boarding school gives you is well worth the sacrifice of living away from home - in terms of establishing discipline, competing 24/7 with your peers and networking opportunities that arise from mingling with former alumni. I got my first job out of Uni by simply picking up the phone and having a 2 minute conversation with a former alumni.
Re: Parents…
Haha girls know how to handle themselves?? Girls are out of control…guys do other stupid stuff that girls may not do as much (drinking, smoking, drugs, crime, etc) but when it comes to sexual vices girls are def up there..girls who have been given full freedom by parents in general have way more access, opportunities and temptations to do wrong than most guys in same situation..even the most average looking girl will get hit on in multiple different evironments from school, work, shopping at mall, etc. almost on a daily basis by the young to the old, from the rich to the poor, from her classmates to even her professors, from her coworkers to her bosses..she will be spared by no one.. And especially during their teenage or rebellious years they get influenced by that and actually actively seek it out..while an above average guy has to actually continously put in effort and will still get rejected numerous times on many occasions, he really only has access to a very limited pool of girls (either his friends or girls who give him even the slightest bit of attention), the truth is that it’s no where near as easy for guys as they let on.. and if girl is not of a strong character in the modern world we live in today she will build up way more vices (usually lying, hiding, and of sexual nature) than a guy, only thing she will know how to handle is how to keep those things a secret while guys do it more openly and sometimes even brag about it and even exaggerate..girls do usually get out of this stage by mid to late 20s when it’s time to get married but they will usually have racked up so many vices and experiences by then, which would be held against her by many men esp by men who themselves never got such opportunities even if they tried..
I’ve noticed that the girls that are most over the top and do some really weird stuff are the girls that were given full freedom by parents and girls who were given absolutely no freedom (these girls rebel like no other)..in general it’s 100x harder to raise a girl than it is to raise a guy because when a girl rebels, she rebels sexually which is one vice that is considered much worse than the rest in our culture, religion and society in general
Re: Parents…
I wasn’t talking about sex…
And I don’t share your thoughts that sexual vices for girls is worse than for boys. For me they’re the same kind of sinning. That’s exactly why I would be more worried about boys because in your household crimes, drinking, drugs and smoking is just boys being boys which is not the case in my household. Friendship between our hypothetical sons isn’t happening, sorry.
Re: Parents…
I know you weren’t talking about sexual vices but that’s the main vice that girls participate in especially when given the opportunity and freedom to do so (and arguably the one vice that our society focuses on most)
I never said sexual vices for girls is worse than guys. I agree it’s the same kind of sinning. I’m just saying more girls have more access to it than guys actually do. And to be fair sexual vices are much more prevalent than drugs, crime etc etc in even the most well raised households so yes you should be thinking about it when you have daughters and sons unless you’re okay with your kids engaging in such behavior before marriage then yes I’ll be keeping my hypothetical kids away from your hypothetical kids.