Parents

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Parents

Verizon, Both my parents lost their parents when they were very young and were both brought up by a medley of different people(although my fathers, father didnt pass away he just went places and forgot he had a family) as a consequence they have idealistic views on what parents, siblings and family are. It can be a bit of pain sometimes.

How are parents in your lives?
My parents have always been the what I define as my family , they hold us together .. I know if something goes wrong I can always rely on them... even though they dont approve they'll do what they have to to help.

are they domineering? YEP YEP YEP, actually they were when I was younger ... at school etc, I thought they were over the top but looking back I thing they were just normal pak parents of a teenager. and then after that they settled down.

or as you grew up their dominance declined? Yes..... the funny thing is, is that now Im in the position to worry about them, not let them go out or demand explanations about where they have been etc.

are they very criticial of everything you do? They have been sometimes, they have never been the type to put me on a pedestal and praise me over every little thing I did, But I knew that they were really proud of me when I they did praise/ sometimes now they dont even have to say. I just know because quite frankly im wonderful;)

do they constantly correct you or guide you? when I was younger yes..........Did I listen.... Hmmmn........ not saying!

or do they give you a chance to fall down and learn on your own (obviously I am talking about a silly, harmless mistake). Hmmph, daisy doent fall down, and she certainy doesnt make mistakes
Do your parents drive you bonkers?

yes ALL the time, but I wouldnt change them for anything..... I have to say here that I class my father as one of my closest friends!

Verizon, I dont know what kind of info you are looking for here....and its sad to hear
about your parents but you seem to be blessed with a happy family and home and perhaps thats something that you have which we dont.

[Sadiyah]

Re: Parents

How are parents in your lives?

My parents are very important in my life. Alhamdulillah, I've been blessed with wonderful parents. In fact, my parents are part of my life. I have lived with them all my life and they have been there for me when I have needed them or turned towards them for help.

*are they domineering? *

Yes, to an extent they are domineering. For instance, they wouldn't let me do something crazy or there are set rules, which I have to abide by (ie. informing them about my whereabouts, coming home on time, etc. etc.). Then there are many other things where I get to decide what I want to do for the most part (not all of it), such as school and religious beliefs. Sometimes they aren't as domineering, while at others they are. It varies from time to time and it depends on what it is that is being discussed or dealt with.

I'm glad they have been domineering, else I could've landed myself in plenty of trouble in the past and now too I guess.

*or as you grew up their dominance declined? *

Well, yes and no. I still need their permission when going somewhere. I still have to listen to them often even when we have conflicting views. I would say it is more or less the same. I'm used to it though, so it isn't really much of a problem, except for sometimes I guess.

are they very criticial of everything you do?

No, they are not critical of 'everything' that I do. They have plenty of faith in me, however, I have always been in need of their guidance and advise, which I get wanted or unwanted, which has helped me make quite a lot of wise decisions so far. They are very supportive and understanding for the most part, but there are some differences that remain unsolved and we try our best to be tolerant of each other.

do they constantly correct you or guide you? or do they give you a chance to fall down and learn on your own (obviously I am talking about a silly, harmless mistake).

If I do something wrong or if I'm heading the wrong way, then yes, otherwise no. Nonetheless, I'm highly dependent on my parents' guidance foremost after Allah's (SWT). If they know that a particular action or decision that I'm about to take could result in me falling down then they definitely guide me and warn me ahead of time. However, often it is left upon me to either choose to listen to them or go ahead and learn it on my own.

Unfortunately, in the past, I have went against my parents' advise and perhaps wishes and I have learned it the hard way that it's better to stick to what parents say and not go against their wishes. In fact, everytime I have went agaisnt my parents' wishes/advise (other than on religion), I have suffered and by the time I realized, it was often too late for me to correct many things right away. Therefore, I have become very cautious and I prefer not to go against what my parents say unless it is absolutely critical to do so. If there is one thing after religion that I would want to implement in my life, it is to learn to listen to my parents and do what they say. It has always been helpful in the past and it could really save me from trouble in the future.

Do your parents drive you bonkers?

It's the other way around. I lack patience and I am the one who drives them bonkers, which I hope I stop doing soon, insha'Allah.

[Verizon]

Re: Parents

All Thank you very much bu please answer the following as well. Thats the part I need help with.

What about married guppies that have kids? Do your parents try to tell you how to raise kids? Do they correct/ constructively criticize you for doing something wrong, and how do you guys take it. Times are different our parents (if I may) are from a different era, they dont have the stresses that we have, some of us are working couples, some try to raise kids differently, so how does that constructive criticism play in this scenario? How do you cope with it? Specially with in-laws you have to deal with another set, how does that work-out?

[Impulse]

Re: Parents

for those who say our parents are bad, I think if we treat them good regardless of how they treat us...they will eventually start treating us good :)

for example....if u speak rudely to some1, they are likely to speak the same way back. if u speak nicely...even if at first they be rude...eventually they will be ok with you :)

this advise is mostly for pyariCgudia :)

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Parents

^ Do not even start throwing around judgements. You want to assume I've been a jerk to my parents, then go right ahead. I know I haven't. If anything I gave in too much.

I'm a f'ing cash-cow for my parents. You HAVE NO CLUE what that means.

[Brute]

Re: Parents

well PCG - reading your post; now I came to know about your signature.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Parents

Oh PGC, just think in a few years YOU are gonna be the one to choose their old people's home

thats how I keep my mother in check... just point out the most horrid and derelict and say "youre going there Lady

(she knows its a joke............. but you never know, Eh)