Any fatwas or can any body enlighten me about the guidelines for those parents in the light of Quran and sunnah, who only believe in marrying their kids in their own kind? i.e in their own bradari and zaat paat. How we are suppose to make them under stand that is VERY wrong.
To me that practice is so absurd. On one side we consider Anhazur :saw: last sermon one of the most important sermons ever delivered. Where he says " Kisi Arabi Ko Kisi Ajmi Per Koye Foqyeet Hasil Nahi…" and then our own parents follow one of the most supported pillars of Hinduism i.e. cast system. Why is that?
-Salman
I think the first criteria for selecting a spouse (yourself or if the parents are looking) is taqwa.
What I have read is that there are no particular prohibitions in considering any other aspect (tribe, appearance, wealth etc), before deciding on a spouse, because its all part of human nature and Islam is a very natural religion.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
I think the first criteria for selecting a spouse (yourself or if the parents are looking) is taqwa.
What I have read is that there are no particular prohibitions in considering any other aspect (tribe, appearance, wealth etc), before deciding on a spouse, because its all part of human nature and Islam is a very natural religion.
[/QUOTE]
Exactly, Yehi tou bol raha houn kaye it should like what you have said above but parents do not believe in it. Regardless how nice the girl/guy is, they dont care. They just want you to get married to in their on baradari, and I just hate that fact.
-Salman
tell them that rasul :saw: married a quraishi. zainab , his own first cousin to a freed slave zaid bin haritha and that should be enough to say that there is no bradary…if they dont listen, mary your self and tell the parents …mom yeh apki bahu hay, accept her or not…
personally i hate those ppl who are full of their crap and think that somehow their bradary or zat pat is better than others…
Bad example, the marriage between Zaid and Zainab did not work out and they got divorced. After which Prophet :saw: married Zainab herself who was as you stated his cousin. (which is mentioned in the Quran)
You should have given a better example.
Yeah I know its wrong, but some people are so set in their ways, I doubt theyd change easily. Its upto the future muslims to educate themselves, and get rid of all these cultural practices.
Allah Ka laakh laakh shuker haye I wasnt born in one of those families. I was/am talking about the people who actually do still belive in those kind of things and all… Such a sad thing.. so illiterate…
-Salman
why bad example.
1- It was showed ke every body is equal.
2 -Second, Zaid(RA) adopted thee. And he(RA) was given
last name of Prophet Muhammad(SAW). This was a Jahiliyaa ke
rusm. Related Koran ke Ayat Nazil huee. And prohibition huee ke
hurr kiseee ko baapp beta nahee baaya jasakta.
No you didnt understand what I meant. Of course everything the Prophet :saw: done was for a reason, and he was the best example for mankind.
That example by itself shows that when she married outside the family it didnt work and when she married inside the family it worked.
Dont you think this example supports the view that its better to marry in the family otherwise you have problems like she did.
I know the reason behind the story was to show that an adopted son is never considered a real son otherwise he would not have married her. But that has nothing to do with this topic.
To understand what is going on here, one has to know how many different ways of life people have come to know so far. What was the starting off way of life and how it developed with time.
Originally, people used to live like animals and many still do and perhaps an example would be that of monkey tribes.
For survival reasons it was important that people lived this way. As people developed so they developed more and more customs and traditions and they gave them religious significance. The buzz word is formation of alliances. The closest being that of a man and woman then children and then wider family circle. This led to clans and tribes and beyond that common customs, traditions and practices bound people together. By now we not only have the original ways of the tribals but also religious and finally we have now stepped into democratic ways of life. People always lives by commonality between them ideologically, practically and geographically etc etc.
We always try and join forces with those whom we trust the most for various reasons eg we know more about them. In a tribe or village etc we are familiar with each other more than other people hence we feel secure in each others company as compared to people we know least about or total strangers.
One needs to know where we have come from and where we are going only and only then our interactions would make any sense to us. In other words why we do what we do needs a lot more knowledge about other things. People who are afraid of knowldge for one reason or another are unlikely to discover new ideas and practices or things. If we wish to have knowledge, we must not draw the line in the sand. Putting limitations on knowledge is recipe for remaining ignorant in my view.
, his own first cousin to a freed slave zaid bin haritha