both of our immediate families were aware of everything going on. me and my husband were always in contact. if his dad didnt like the way things were going or if something was important to him like a family tradition or whatever, my husband let me know and i made sure it happened and vice versa. everyone was pretty stressed during those days but also very excited. i think she should definitely speak to him about it and let him know. theres no reason why he should have negative feelings, at this point he should be understanding and caring and yeh he should make the extra effort to show her parents that their daughter is loved and will be looked after because im sure the way farida's parents are feeling is upsetting her. ofcourse they will be much happier and feeling more secure with their decision to marry their daughter if he takes the extra steps to assure them.
Sumo , thanks so much mate, you are right, perhaps they should talk openly... at least she wont feel cornered as she is feeling right now..
One more thing, she asked me today , she hardly tells danish how her parents are feeling, coz a few times she did talk to him and it ended in their own relationship getting stressed and they both decided that perhaps things will be better after the wedding... but he did feel that farida's parents were a push...
now she is asking me if she should involve him at all just to let him know whats going on or should she just keep quiet and hope that things WILL get better after the wedding?
CB.....I forgot to answer this question. Okay....Farida needs to prioritize. If after marriage.....she will not be be living with her in-laws.......then why make such a big deal of things? If she will be living only with Danish.......then that is a RELIEF. She does not need to involve Danish in these issues prior to marriage. Otherwise she'll not only strain the relationship......she'll risk losing him. At the end of the day....her relationship with Danish is what matters most. And if they both have a good relationship...........then why fuss over in-laws that won't even be living with her after marriage? ****Complaining to him about his parents prior to marriage can cause him to become defensive too.
She's being emotional to the point that she's not getting her priorities right. I could understand if she had to live with her in-laws under the same roof after marriage. In such a situation she should be more worried about her in-laws. But if they're sitting miles away from her...........then she needs to adapt patience and let it go. And since his parents live in Pak.....HER PARENTS will mostly be intereacting with Danish anyways in the future (and they LIKE DANISH)......so it's all good, LOL.
Tell her to breathe and relax. After marriage she'll learn that tolerating and overlooking are a part of marriage. Right now....it's all new to her.
The only way Farida's parents will feel better is if someone from Danish's side acknowledges them and treats them with respect and care.
This is where both Farida and Danish have to start working together as a team. Its their job to make sure both parties are okay with one another. If Danish's parents were unhappy with Farida...he would expect her to do whatever she could to make them happy. In this situation, Danish needs to be proactive about making sure Farida's parents' concerns are not only addressed but aleviated.
Its the only way to help calm Farida's parents down because they feel slighted by Danish's parents.