No matter how much sincere are the intentions of the parents, I feel that in most cases, all their sincere efforts are wasted and contribute more in spoiling the child, when they hit their child infront of other people ( unless there is absolutely no other option available)
Do you think it is alright for parents to hit their children ?
In my view, if they think that the child is getting out of control, they may hit him when he is alone, but NOT infront of other people.
Re: Parents hitting children
Though I do understand that some children need a pat at their back and some need a kick at their back, so their nature, attitude, sensitivity in self respect and way of thinking must be kept in mind while dealing with children.
Re: Parents hitting children
but if the child is totally out of control infront of others .. then a little smack to get him/her back on track shouldn't hurt..
kids are smart these days.. they pretty well know how to 'abuse' their parents infornt of others
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I agree some children do try to take benefit of situations, by thinking that their parents won't be able to do anything in front of other people (inorder to avoid embarrassment), and being "Ziddi" could prove to be a good weapon to force their parents against their will.
Such children need to be given a dose once in a while to make them realize that their assumption is wrong.
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Until they are able tol rationalise i would assume the best deterrent is pain...i remember putting my hand on the iron when i was 4 and after that burning i knew never to do that again...before you can teach right and wrong you have to show right and wrong...
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i sream the hell out at my 4 yr old shaitan boy... i tried to stay away with hiting cuz one day i pick up my chappal and he tread me he's gona call 911,,lol dam man these kids now days,, too smart and have to deal with them with talkin,, but sometime have to say i really had to give to him when he's totally out of control mean when it comes to disrespect,, should know where the limit is... i learn that scream ur lungs out and it works..lol stay away from hiting makes them more ziddi..
Re: Parents hitting children
i sream the hell out at my 4 yr old shaitan boy... i tried to stay away with hiting cuz one day i pick up my chappal and he tread me he's gona call 911,,lol dam man these kids now days,, too smart and have to deal with them with talkin,, but sometime have to say i really had to give to him when he's totally out of control mean when it comes to disrespect,, should know where the limit is... i learn that scream ur lungs out and it works..lol stay away from hiting makes them more ziddi..
The chappal IS out of order, frankly. And I'm speaking as someone who was on the receiving end of it a few times.
But I know that the chappal, or any other implement, taught me nothing the open palm couldn't have.
While my kids will have the threat of a good spanking hanging over them, no child in my house will ever be struck by any item other than an open palm.
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As in do enough to provide a deterrance which a little slap should do...giving the kid a beating isnt deterrance its a beating which will bring out resentment rather than respect...
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i strongly believe in verbal punishments......besides that
If the kids wants something...... just simply tell him he/she wont get it ...if he/she keeps doing stuff which annoys or embarasses you...... and make it actually happen
Re: Parents hitting children
There is nothing wrong with a good ol fashion spanking as long as you are not putting bruises on your child.
However, parents should only resort to spankings in extreme cases and/or only after other forms of disciplinary actions have been exhausted. If spankings become a recurrent form of discipline day-in day-out, the child will become immune to it and it wont serve it's purpose any longer.
In terms of using this form of discipline in public places....I dont see anything wrong with it if and only if you have given a verbal warning to the child and they still want to act up. Kids get embarassed easily.....they will think twice before acting up in public again after receiving a good spanking.
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Edited:
Re: Parents hitting children
This is one thing hubz and i dont agree on. Personally I dont think theres any harm in giving ur child the odd smack on the butt if they're being bad but hubz is totally against any form of smacking. He feels its just the parent taking out their fustration on the child and its annoyance at urself for not being able to deal with the situation. He also thinks that smacking them doesnt necessarily mean they r going to do whateva it is that u want. Especially young kids , it just upsets and confuses them.
Wheneva my daughter REALLY drives me mad and is having a tantrum i actually just put her down(if we're at home) and i walk away and give her a few mins to calm down by which time she normally has.
Even tho its hard i have to admit tho when i am calm abt the situation, my daughter does what i want. Screaming and shouting at my daughter neva got her to stop doing what it was i wanted her to stop. Hubz is incredibly patient and calm and i have to say she doesnt play up with him. Its hard!
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^ Amani, I agree with your husband, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked my 4. I only spanked when they were really small when they would do something that was absolutely dangerous, like touching the stove or running onto the street, when I wanted to get the message across loud and clear.
I think spanking should be an absolute last resort, when nothing else gets a child's attention. Shouting doesn't work either.
For us, the more creative ways of discipline have always worked the best - taking away a favorite toy for a few days, losing their allowance or a trip to the zoo, grounding, losing bike privileges, no phone calls, and so on have always worked well.
Now that my son is getting ready to take driver's ed, we have told him that he will take it this summer if he behaves maturely and responsibly, or he can take it next year if he continues to backtalk. He's behaving so well right now we don't even recognize him :)
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^ Nice sharing. Well said.
I remember the horrible times when my dad used to tell me to re-write all my homeworks a number of times when I used to do anything wrong. :(
But this punishment did use to pay of during the exams:D
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my mum threatens us with a jootha and then she runs after us 
…and then we run away and she starts laughing…but then again we adon’t really annoy her much so shes ok 
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Amana i agree with taking away priviliedges like toys etc. Thats another thing we do. We havnt done the whole naughty step thing tho cos we havnt had to..(good old Supernanny book!)
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Amani I agree with your hubby...I have ocassionally spanked my il one, but I realise that I was actually letting out my frustration and was not doing any good.
One example I would like to share here is that my brother used to discipline his 2 1/2 yr son by sending him to sit facing the corner. It did no good and in fact the lil monster used to taunt my brother by saying - shall I go to the corner now baba?
Anyway my brother tried reverse psychology. Every time his son did something wrong my brother would put a sad face and said "I myself will sit in the corner whenever you do something wrong" OMG it worked like a charm. My nephew felt so sad that his dad is being punished for his wrong doing. Immediately he behaved better and said sorry.
Hmmm I wonder how long this will work for...??
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If any child is as horrible as I used to be in childhood, he would say “Good baba, kindly go and sit in the corner”
May Allah forgive me for my childhood sins 
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I don't believe in hitting children. Violence is not the solution. You need to reason and talk to children. Losing temper is not a good thing. If people cannot raise children properly then they should not bring them into this world.
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Even tho its hard i have to admit tho when i am calm abt the situation, my daughter does what i want. Screaming and shouting at my daughter neva got her to stop doing what it was i wanted her to stop. Hubz is incredibly patient and calm and i have to say she doesnt play up with him. Its hard!
The hardest is when my "terrible twos stage" daughter has a temper tantrum in a store or any public place. It's so hard to get her to listen to me because she some how knows that she can act up whenever we're in a store. That's when I have no idea what i'm suppose to do and it gets frustrating.