parents giving u money for things

Lifestyle Relationships
1

salams girlz

hmmm

so its an understood thing ofcourse that no matter how ‘independent’ u become u still are always dependent on ur parents and ur family in certain ways. thats just an absolute given.

self sufficiency n not depending on help is a great feeling and we all like to do things on our own and not ask for help. but at the end of the day, complete self sufficiency [emotional, social, financial] is not possible whether u r a guy or a girl.

re financial dependence. i dono. ive always been the type not to ask my parents for things since i was a kid. i even tried to collect my pocket money and save it for things like photocopying books etc in school. id save my school lunch money for that. and in college i tried my best not to ask my parents for money. and i used to spend money with samajdaari like i never went on shopping binges or anything but after my second yr in college i became a bit irregular abt working part time and every yr in college i used to travel to pak twice a yr so at the end of the day it was always my parents who were sending me money even tho technically if i had worked part time for a full 20 hrs a week i could have been self sufficent financially.

now im 22, turning 23 in sept, working full time and i am still dependent on my parents. like i live in my parents house and everything, travel to and fro in my parents car and many other things which r part of life.

hmmm…so like now im thinking of buying a car, not for ayashi or anything, i need one. and i dont have enough money saved [sigh…i dont know where my money goes im just really bad at saving up]. dad and mom both said they r gona get the car for me.

but for some reason i dono, i feel really really weird and kinda bad just accepting a car from my parents. i feel like i shud be the one providing to my parents in their old age, and here i am still taking money from them. makes me feel pathetic and useless.

i told my mom k i wana learn the lessons life has to teach me and i dont wana take the easy way out. i shud learn how to save money, how to budget. i shud suffer if i am not able to so i come to realise the value of things which obviously till now i havent. if things keep coming to me in a silver platter all my life like they have till now im never gona learn the tough lessons of life. subhanallah and alhamdulillah Allah swt has just made things absolutely easy for me till now and i got every single thing i wanted alhamdulillah.

parents said ok if u dont want that then pay me back when u get the money but atleast take it from me now and get the car.

ofcourse whatever is my parents is mine and whatever is mine is my parents and siblings but still i feel like one shud not be dependent on parents coz after all now my parents r getting old and i should develop some kind of self reliance :frowning:

look at the poor people of pakistan. their kids work from small ages as helper at bicycle shop, car mechanic, house maid, and generate income from such a young age. and then theres spoilt brats like me who are so old and are still just taking taking taking from their parents :frowning:

Allah swt gave me opportunities which if i had utilised properly i could be rich today but i dint take advantage of them and now here i am leeching off my parents in their approaching old age… :frowning:

im still deciding if i shud take my parents money for the car or try to save up on my own. i guess thats gona take me yrs though. but i dono. i dont wana be a leech either.

2

If they want you to take the car, then take it..
it'll make them happy.. and you too(a bit)..
there are other lessons in life to learn :)

3

hmmmmm
but yaar…i do this everytime :frowning:
like everytime i think bas aaj ke baad im not gona take major chunks of money from my parents and im gona save up, be wise etc
and then the same thing happens :frowning:
i suck :crying:

4

Consider them a blessing from Allah.

You should be glad that your parents care for you so much. I sometimes feel myself that I 'use' my parents.

There will be times in the future when your parents would need something from you, so make sure you repay them in whatever way you can, and unitil then be obedient to them and always make duas for them :).

5

subhanallah M and jazakallah for ur post, for some reason it brought tearz to my eyez

wallahi…i am ashamed to say that i must be one of the most disobedient, ungrateful and worst daughters any parents could have… :frowning:

whenever the time comes to do something for my parents…because of my shortcomings i always always fail… :frowning:

:frowning:

i suck i truly do :crying:

6

Parents are indeed a blessing Irem. You should be grateful you have such caring parents. :)

I remember, when I got my car, I only had about 80% of the cash for the car. My dad put in the other 20%, without my asking, cause he would rather he put in the extra cash than have me finance the car and end up in debt. I eventually paid him back, but even now he pays for my car insurance. I don't know what I would do without them. I'm very fortunate.

7

:hehe:

Alot of pakistani peeple are like this. :slight_smile:
I v never asked my parents for money either.
And I never will, but If they like to gve something to you, you should take it. It will like some one said before, make them happy. :smiley:

I do respect peeple who try to do everything on their own, but sometimes it s allright to let others pay. (read parents)

8

Irem, that's really sweet of them. In my experience, they tend to get quite offended if you refuse to take money off them, regardless of how independant you are.

Rinse them while you can :p

9

Note to self: do not let Junior read this thread

10

I’ve heard now you can finance or lease a car in Pakistan. If that is the case then there is no reason why you should be asking for money from your parents. This is how youngsters do it here in the west. The infrastructure helps them afford a Ford Mustang if they wish…but most of their paycheck goes in car insurance, gas and monthly installments. This is how you learn what to buy and how to budget.
Well, I’m sounding like a baba ji and I know budgeting and shopping sense is beyond girls so never mind what I wrote... :-)

11

hmmm so as usual my lambi lambi baatein were just lambi lambi baatein!!! saara bhoot utar gaya and i am back to being my leechy self :frowning: and my folks are gona buy me the gaddi :frowning: sharam aani chahiyay mujhay :-(…i shud really become more samajdaar oont jaisa kad ho gya hay :crying:

khayrrr.. hmmm… sooo…peeplan… :smiley: IREM IS GONA HAVE HER OWN CAR!!! [inshallah] OMG i cant believe it!!! heeeee heeee heeeee!!! who wants a ride on the gaddi along the arabian sea beach with some kewl music :bhangra: ofcourse if u can trust my driving skills!!! :smiley:

p.s. thank u all for the replies :slight_smile: really appreciate it :flower1:

12

congrats on ur new gadi :flower2:

13

Mubarkaan. Kaunsi gaddi hai?

14

Uh Oh I think I peeted the dhandora before actually buying the gaddi :smiley:

inshallah will get one soon, abhee toh have to look at the different ones avlbl :smiley: so will prolly own it in a couple weex inshallah :smiley:

thanks for ur mubarakan tho guys :smiley: :flower1:

i think its gona be suzuki mehran vxr :smiley:

15

yaari bahoot bahoot mubarka :mash: . thas jus sooooo awesome, inshallah u will love it. :kiss: :hug: and yea hell yea i want a ride… even if u didnt ask me.. i wud jump in anyway :stuck_out_tongue: so hey where we going? :wink: aa kahin duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur challey jaye hum. :hula: :hula:

16

sheru yaar, hop in :smiley: te aankhein band kar le ima take u to my favorite place :hug: