Over the past few days, it has been bothering me alot. On one side, parents are to be respected both culturally and religiously.
Why is that desi parents are not open minded as other Muslim parents? We have other Muslims .. from Iran, middleeast and other places .. why is that there is a difference of magnitudes in how these parents are?
I understand that culture does have a strong hold on ppl. .. but what went wrong with our culture that we are so narrow minded and frustrated by everything???
I was always told not to back-bite.. infact, i knw that its haram and at any cost should be avoided.. yet, i see my own family members do it against each other… the very same ppl who were giving me a lecture on how not to do it!
We are so hyprocrytic (spl?) !!! we say something else and do something else.. ( i incld myself in it ) .. to me this is the reason why families are not happy anymore.. since all they care about is houses and paisa.. and how this cousin got that and that cousin go thtat.. its shameful that we don’t even see how Allah has blessed us to be in Canada and to have a job !!!
I am known to be the worst input-giver in the house.. my family says, i don’t care about alot of things.. that i am very irresponsible.. well if i don’t give any input in what sort of furniture to buy for living room doesn’t make me irresponsible or useless.. since i knw that in the end, my opinion is going to waste..
sigh its just frustrating to see that parents don’t recognize how much it bothers us when they just ignore the facts and try to keep everything to their ways..
Sorry for ranting.. it was much needed.. now i start my work..got 3 meetings and lots of development work.. thnx
Every culture has its own set of problems. I guess desi parents think that their kids will never grow up and that it is mandatory upon them to make all their decisions for them. In addition, I guess desis generally aren't open to the idea of letting their children make mistakes and learn on their own. I guess it's overprotectiveness. There isn't much that can be done about it. What I fear is the fact that many of us may grow up and turn out to be like our parents.
our parents aren't that bad. as sadiyah pointed out there are pros and cons in every culture and the others may seem more open-minded about certain things while ours will be more open-minded about other things. i think sadiyah is right that our parents are over-protective and that explains why they don't really believe in letting their children make mistakes and learn from them because they don't want their children to suffer in any way. they feel they have experienced life and can guide their children so they don't make the same mistakes as them. i don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with it. all loving parents want the best for their children. i also don't think it's a lost case. as with any relationship, communication is the key. if you don't understand why your parents did something or think about something, talk to them. you'll be surprised how much things will make sense if you try to look at things from their perspective.
We can't generalize and say all of our people are like that. Caring only about a big house, fancy car and Paisa, that's definitely not my family. Allah knows what's in our hearts. We all have to work on ourselves.
My parents are hte same way, they're not that materialistic or anything. But the thing is, my bro's def like that, he has a big house, thats too big for just him and his wife, and he wants a bigger house. I visited it and it was nice for a while but i was glad to come home...... i fear i'm treading down the same path of being used to luxury, just taking a credit card and buying whatever i want, not having to budget, having a car to go everywhere etc etc.... i'm already spoiled, i spend way too much tho i dont consider myself materialistic...