Yeah CB as you saw i know a good part of the issue.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CM: *
MehnazQ lets for a second think outside of the box. Maybe i do know what the issue is about huh? Ever consider that as a possibility?
[/QUOTE]
CM, why do you take any comments about you as something negative? I was simply saying that Chandbeti had not related all of the facts, so she (and we all) should not be surprised when she is criticized for her words. You were the first to criticize so I used you as an example. I wasn't saying anything insulting or negative about you. Khair, you really should not be so quick to jump down my throat .... start thinking outside of your own box!
CB - Hm. I had issues with my parents when they freaked out about my wanting to major in English and becoming a teacher. Part of the problem is that they still often think of things in the Pakistani context and don't realize that things are different here. Anyway, seems like they've gotten over the art thing and that's not the issue that is bothering you.
It's hard to offer advice without knowing what the situation is in particular. But don't take what they've given you for granted. Just be aware that they have probably made sacrifices for you and have your best interest at heart. Of course, that doesn't mean they can't be wrong. But you have to talk to them. Try to understand what they're so concerned about. And explain why you see things differently. This might be difficult/awkward if you're not used to speaking to them openly, but do try. I tend to freak out and get annoyed at my parents when they are restrictive -- and then they freak out too. But if I make the effort to show that I'm listening and considering what they have to say, then they tend to back off.
How's the situation now?
Please explain to me how that statement can be seen in a positive light?
Let's try again:
CB didn't give us all the facts. You criticized her. I come along and tell CB not to be surprised that she is being criticized given the fact that she didn't provide all the details. Yeah, I used you as an example. I don't see how that is negative when I'm telling her that she shouldn't be surprised with the responses in this thread given that she didn't provide details .... which you surprisingly know without her knowledge.
I don't see how that is negative towards you. Khair, if you see it that way, there isn't much I can do about it. :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sahar02: *
CB - Hm. I had issues with my parents when they freaked out about my wanting to major in English and becoming a teacher. Part of the problem is that they still often think of things in the Pakistani context and don't realize that things are different here. Anyway, seems like they've gotten over the art thing and that's not the issue that is bothering you.
It's hard to offer advice without knowing what the situation is in particular. But don't take what they've given you for granted. Just be aware that they have probably made sacrifices for you and have your best interest at heart. Of course, that doesn't mean they can't be wrong. But you have to talk to them. Try to understand what they're so concerned about. And explain why you see things differently. This might be difficult/awkward if you're not used to speaking to them openly, but do try. I tend to freak out and get annoyed at my parents when they are restrictive -- and then they freak out too. But if I make the effort to show that I'm listening and considering what they have to say, then they tend to back off.
How's the situation now?
[/QUOTE]
Sahar: thanks for your response. You somehow seem to relate to my situation.
I have tried talking to them girly. But there is a bigger issue at hand. They won't let me and I won't let go if it.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Sahar: thanks for your response. You somehow seem to relate to my situation.
I have tried talking to them girly. But there is a bigger issue at hand. They won't let me and I won't let go if it.
[/QUOTE]
Of course I relate, darlin'. Even tho you are some old, fat, white computer geek. :p
Anyway, what happened when you tried talking to them? And what is this bigger issue?
^
Well, I can't tell it here. I will let u know laterz.
If figures ! instead of trying to help this poor girl you all just go psycho and turn on her!
yeah... I wonder how she could possibly be so upset with her parents they must be so calm and understanding just like all of you !!?
My advice was sincere, straightforward and to the point. Cause honestly that's really the only option you've got.
Hey if you still need someone USEFUL and nonjudgemental to talk to just PM or e-mail me. I'm usually pretty good at giving advice on this sort of thing ..ask anybody who knows me.
oh CB 
i know exactly what youre talking abt, been there done that
for me it was even worse, my mum was born and brought up in England and shes seen all sides of society so shes all the more for the desi ways of bringing up girls
first of all relax, youre parents are not ure enemies, theyre ure friends, the countless discussions ive had with them all the hurt exchanged its not worth it, trust me
they are ppl just like u and just like me, they hurt, they care, they love, they make mistakes, and they fear as well
whatever theyre doing its out of love for you, nomatter what, ure parents could never do anything out of spite, what u have to do (what is absolutely imperative) you sit down with your dad, have a nice long discussion with him, dont talk all girly or whatever that is, get to the point, tell him what u want, and tell him u understand what they want
tell them u love them and that u understand whatever it is they want from u, but tell them to explain exactly what why and when, in the end it will be a compromising situtaion, never leave a discussion without giving both of ure parents a hug to make sure everythings clear btwn u
though u may have ure differences at least u know u love each other
and trust me, when everythings clearer its all the better, its hard being brought up in a society which ure parents dont trust where youre an independant character - i understand and i sympathises with u
but remember, its not ure firends or youre work or youre future career thats going to be there for you at the end of the day,m its youre parents and its youre family 
good luck
i remmber fraudi saying u cant get the best of both worlds. dont expect ur parents to get u all the stuff they do BOSE audio LOL and expect to give no obediance in return. so many kids in my skool had been thrown out of thier house by grade 9... they live one day at thier grandad's and a day at thier friends and yes they buy thier own cars for 500 pounds and yes they flip burgers and yes they cant buy designer cloths and yes they hate thier parents and have no luv for them.
like cm and rimshy said 19 is nothing. all asians r protected ... i am as well.
i have to say though that my parents r cool with wat ever i do as long as its not rong ( not too rong religiously). any ways i hope u sort wat ever problem u have out. :p
One day you'll look back on this thread and laugh. Whatever parents do, there's always reasoning behind it. Might seem mad to us on the recieving end but some day when you have kids of your own you'll understand better.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by waleed: *
i remmber fraudi saying u cant get the best of both worlds. dont expect ur parents to get u all the stuff they do BOSE audio LOL and expect to give no obediance in return. so many kids in my skool had been thrown out of thier house by grade 9... they live one day at thier grandad's and a day at thier friends and yes they buy thier own cars for 500 pounds and yes they flip burgers and yes they cant buy designer cloths and yes they hate thier parents and have no luv for them.
like cm and rimshy said 19 is nothing. all asians r protected ... i am as well.
i have to say though that my parents r cool with wat ever i do as long as its not rong ( not too rong religiously). any ways i hope u sort wat ever problem u have out. :p
[/QUOTE]
Waleeda, I do obey my parents. Bu I don't tend to follow them blindly. Don't think this is about everyday life crap like doing chores or anything.
They ought to respect the fact that I am grown up now, and can make decisions for my own. They don't always have to fear the society. Afterall, I am their daughter not the society. I really wouldn't mind these luxuries taken away if they promise to leave me alone( meaning not squash my dreams)
BritChick: The only reasoning behind their behavior is the fear of people and cultural bounds. And they say it openly. If that is what makes them do all this, I really am not pleased. And think I am right in getting all pouty about it.
Interesting discussion. I am at a stage in my life where I have my parents and I am a mom myself. You know what I always thought I would never do this to my kids what my parents did BUT OMG I think I am turning into my parents!
Thanks xara..
keep arguing with em until they finally give in..its something thats gonna change ur entire life...dont do wat they say until u r completely convinced..