****OR Are They ???
Making decisions for their kids futures , careers , marriages etc…
Would you follow the adage " Parents know Best " and would you let them make the final call on those things for you or would you make your own decisions even if it means going against their wishes ?****
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
Well heres an interesting one.
I was raised by my Fammily to respect the Elders though I did not see my father for many years until I was almost a Man. By the time I came to know my father I had resented him for having left me years ago and the differnces between us have been startling at times we could not even talk to one another across a dinner table. I used to despise him as a western and soft liberall type. Where I was the hard fanatic and conservative Pakistani.
But over the years I came to respect his wisdom even though he was not always right he had great determination and I came to see it as very noble of him. He stuck to his guns literally and I am proud of him for it. I only wish I could ever be half the man he was... becuase I will never be able to match him in diplomacy and charisma.
I love my Father very dearly as well as my Mother and I saw less of her than I saw my Father. But Mother and Father have always wanted the best for me and I have often been tempted to rebel. But I stode by them and thier decisions bad or good were made for the best. I miss my fammily very much.
They are now back in Pakistan and soon when I have sons and daughters of my own I will decide what is best for them.
I like spirit/courage in kids, but spirit and wisdom are not the same thing as I came to learn the hard way. I learned that many would have loved to see me rebel against my parents and go my own way... that would weaken our fammily... but we stuck together and now we do not cower... let them cower from us.
Raising children is very difficuilt and sometimes we make mistakes but if our children come to learn that we want the best for them then Children are also capable of making great sacrifice.
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
My parents never imposed their wish on me but i don't know why i think they should impose :( ....... They never said me that u must be engineer or doctor. My father wish was to see me abroad as he does not like Pakistan current system but he never insisted and luckily i got the chance. Even he says if you love some one just come to me and i'll arrange all the things. But I'll not do love marriage and will say my mom to select a girl for me.
Every one has its own thinking and we can't fix it.
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
i will never make a decision against my parent's wish. i will try to make them understand my point but in the end i will do whatever they want...well my parents never force anything on me anyway. aur waise bhi islam main maa baap ki khidmat pe bohat zaida zor diya gaya hai aur kaha gaya hai ke unhe uff tak na kaho. :)
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
Yeah so nobody should rebel against thier parents. 
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
Of course they aren't always right, u only have to look at all that craziness with forced marriages, pushing their kids to become doctors (we actually know of a couple whose son dropped out in his last year of medical school cos he could no longer bear it, he always resisted doing medicine but his dad had pretty much forced him, even tho he was rubbish at it + had ended up abroad cos he wasn't good enough to study it in the UK)..
I actually think people have a duty to speak up when parents are wrong or if they oppress their kids, to me there's nothing 'noble' about blind obedience. I hope when I make mistakes my kids point them out to me instead of feeling they must 'obey' for fear of offending me or denting my pride. How will things ever change if kids must follow blindly like sheep.. I also think never questioning anything ur parents or elders say can lead to ppl having difficulty seeing the difference between right and wrong (eg 'I will always take my mother's side over my wife')..
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
Desi parents are control freaks. It is not their fault our society has been like that for centuries they learned that from their parents.
The duty of parents is to train the kids to make the right decisions. It not an obligatory for them to make decisions for their kids. Parents will not always be there to supply the crutches to their kids whenever they are limping in life. It is imperative that kids become independent and gain self confidence to face the real cruel life out there.
I have trained my kids to the point where they come to me for help in making decisions , I lead them to the right decision and let them make their decision on their own. This is working very well so far and I have never been disappointed.
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
:k:
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
**I think times have changed drastically from when our parents were young and what may have worked in their times or worked for them do not necessarily apply in today's world. So advice or decisions that they make even though in their mind may be the best decision for their children is not necessarily good for their kids in today's world.
Parents should guide their kids to make decisions for themselves and though it might not always be what the parents envision for their kids it might be best for the kid. A lot of times you see desi parents pushing their kids into careers and marriages which they consider "Appropriate" or suitable for their children without taking into account the childrens' protests and brushing it off as "We know what's best for you" !**
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
The day you learn to leave things on Allah, you will never fail in anything. At least thats what i have learnt from my short life so far.
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
I'm always right!
No wait! I'm mortal....
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
***FT sange ye jenai ? Wapas larallay ?
FT I do agree with you , but isn't it a human need to blame someone for things when they go wrong ?***
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
The day you learn to leave things on Allah, you will never fail in anything. At least thats what i have learnt from my short life so far.
But you have to make a decision first then you leave it to Allah (SWT) . Allah(SWT) gave us wisdom and have asked many a time in Quran to use it.
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
^thats what you have to learn. If you leave it on Allah, the good or bad, whatever the outcome is, you would beleive it was chosen for you by Him. I am not saying that do not try. if you see something is wrong, or you dont like something, open your mouth and express it, do try to oppose it. Bring logics and reasons on table. but we all have our limits and where our limits end, His starts. Let Him take over when you have given up. Once you give control to Him, be ready to like whatever He has selected for you.
and yes i m back :)
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
and yes i m back :)
Should I be scared , concerned or celebrate ?
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
^ that was not for you 
. that post was for sheyn, you came in between 
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
:mirch:
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
No they are not
Re: Parents are ALWAYS Right ?
Parents are human and not gods that they will always make a right decision . I think its our own weakness if we start believing that they know it all , and if something goes wrong then we just throw the responsibility on them . Well for sure parents as such , and desi ones for sure like their kids to stay in control and dependent . But now the time has come that we start using our on brains .
Another point I want to raise here is regarding age difference and that generational disconnect that we have with our parents . First its something very natural . If you think for a second you'll feel the same way toward your little nieces and nephews . With age we start forgetting our younger age and experiences . We can't emotionally think the same and physically can't do what they can do . Its all very natural . But again it requires someone to feel the same as you while making a decision for you . For example in Love marriages parents are the biggest hurdle , but why ? Only because they can't feel the same as you are . But can we disregard their experience of lifetime ?? I think No, we can't .
So like for myself what I do is that I listen to everyone, but do whatever I feel like . Even its the worst decision but at the end of the day its mine and I am ready to take full responsibility for it instead of shifting the blame .