These are the rare moments where you’ll see me starting a thread in Life1 ;-]
Anyways, so as you were a child or grown up but not married and you saw your parents live their life together or on their own and you saw their daily routines, their skills etc. did you plan out your own life? I mean did you like think ‘I’m going to do this differently’ or ‘I want to be exactly like my mum/dad’
What were they?
Mine was to love someone like my parents loved each other. My dad was the best husband, even though they had to opt for a long distance relationship for quite some time, my dad never failed to send her a ‘Happy Anniversary’ present or a Birthday present/card. He loved my mum so much and you would be blind if you couldn’t see that in the way he looked at her every day of his life before he passed away. He respected her, although he loved his family, he had this way of balancing the love for his wife and the love for his family. Not to mention the continuous love he had for us.
My mum cared for him, and respected his family even though his family wasn’t the best which made him love her. She always did speak her mind, but she knew when to stop and just agree…hahah I wish I had that one! =\
awesome thread! a pleasant change from the typical life 1 threads. :k:
yes…when i reflect back at the things my parents did for each other and for us kids I often think to myself…these are the things that I will nvr do when I have my own family and those are the things that I will most def do.]
For instance, despite the fact that my mom worked everyday…she always managed to wake up before everyone else to make breakfast for the family…every single morning. When my father would come home from work in the evenings…there was always a hot cooked meal at the table sitting there for him…everyday at the same time. This continued on til the day he passed away. How she managed to pull this off and be a career woman is beyond me…but I only hope that I can do the same for my husband and family.
My father would bring home lovely flowers for my mother…for no reason at all. just randomly. He would also sing old classical songs to my mom out of the blue…in front of all of us…yes he was quite the romantic type. We found it pretty gross at the time…but now I see how cute it was. May Allah bless his soul. I only hope that I can be that kind of romantic person 15-20 yrs into my marriage and 3 kids down the road. iA.
The things that I would not like to do is… I do not want to be as strict of a mom as my mother was on us. I believe in letting your child grow and explore the world…within limits of course. Altho my mother was a lot more lenient on me then she was on my sisters. I feel for my sisters at times.
Education was always an importance in our home and stressed over and over again…however my parents never really spent the time to help me with my homework or help me study for exams. There was a lack of involvement when it came to education at least until the grades came in. I want to be more involved in my childrens life when it comes to their social life and academic life at school.
so yea…these are somethings id like to do or change.
I LIKE HOW my mother is sooooooo supportive of my dad, shes a typical wife from the last generation. very supporitve, a good housewife, very obedient and patient. if my dad says can you get me this or that or dont work or dont wear this or that, my mum listen and happily does it. my dads the same. they do things for each other and do it ahppily.
while me, if my fiance told me not to work afte rmarriage or not wear this or that id knockmk him out with the frying pan.
compromise is big, however i hate that word.
although i do sometimes wish i was more like my mum.
Alot of things i saw iwht my parents that I swear I would never want my life to be like. they had very typical gender roles. but w age ive seen them mellow out.....
Sweet if and AE - wow, your mum's behaviour makes me feel like a very bad wife in comparison ;( It's very nice to hear your parents interacted so well with eachother all that time, MA.
My mum n dad always had very defined roles and were very comfortable within them, but I never thought that I would want to be like them, probably bcos they were so strict!
I want to be able to multitask like my mom and cook half as good as her and I'll be happy. I want to have my dad's no-nonsense attitude. My mom's charm. My dad's brains. My mom's smile.
Even though my father is an academic, it was my mum who instilled the values of education from an early age; Dad encouraged it more as we got older and the concept of standing on your own two feet. I hope to instill such values in my own children one day inshallah.
I don’t know, alhamdulilah they both just work together and compliment each other so wel [alhamdulilah]. Even though they were stricter on me, in comparison to my other siblings, now I would say I am the person I am due to that. They let us have what we wanted within reason. If mum did not allow it dad would:cb:but they never hold us back and alhamdulilah they do not have the typical desi mentality.
I suppose the concept of self sacrifice. My mum has a degree in fine arts and was an artist before she got married, but since she had children, she forgot all that and put her children and her husband first. It is not an easy feat but I hope I could be half as strong and independent as my mother.
Again, Sweefe, like you said, to love someone as much as my parents do alhamdulilah. They have their ups and downs but they do the cutest things for each other too. To some they might be insignificant but to them they are more important than a thousand words. When I was little, I used to think it was gross, but now it does not seem to be so.
i like the way my parents gang up when it comes to their kids issues:omg: ,they argue like a cute couple but love each other so much .I see them caring so much but i try to learn where they fail to understand their kids.I donot want to do that to my own
Why thankyou =]
And uhm yeah education was and is still the biggest stress in our household too. My dad passed away when I was little but my mum was always there, and although she wasn’t the most educated woman ever, she helped me with whatever she could in different subjects like basic maths and english.
Her and my dad always showed the importance of religion too, she made me learn Surahs and enter like these little competitions in Mosques. I wish I could do that too, like when I have kids, help them with their learning, interact with them; push them to be the best they can be.
However, my mum can’t relate to us, like what we go through in school or how we feel, and I think it’s because she lost that communication skill, especially with kids these days…I want to be my child’s best friend (not literally) but someone who they can trust with anything and everything. And yeah you get the idea.
aww shucks i mean if you want me to stay in life1 i will hahaha i kid i kid.
This is why I reckon it’s good to reflect back on how your parents would’ve dealt with things that your dealing with. It may mmake you see where you’re going wrong or what you’re doing right.
Looking at my parents marriage, I always wished I would have a husband just like my father. God, he's so patient and caring and loving. We never had the stereotypical gender roles in our home. Dad was away alot at work especially when he would be on call... and it was so sweet how my mother would refuse to sleep until she saw him walk through that door. I liked how they would fight the world for each other... no one was allowed to say a single word against my mother to my father... he would rip them to shreds if they did. They never discussed their own problems with others outside of the family, and that's how it should be. They were a wonderful team, taking turns sharing housework and doing chores.
I think i'd like to be more like my father if and when I have kids. He was strict but he also supported us in whatever we did, whether he liked it or not. He always stresses the importance of being who we are and not conforming to society and outside pressure. We've all gotten nothing but unconditional love from him even when we've done some pretty stupid things. I hope to be as understanding as him one day and as patient.
I always had different interests than most of my family members, even when I was little. Looking at my family members even then, as a child, I had decided I wanted to do many things different from them. There were a few positive things, which I also did later do, but most of the things were different from them.
Alhamdulilah
i mean if you want me to stay in life1 i will 
hahaha i kid i kid.