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*Originally posted by ~NiQ@Bi~: *
[They probably do think that that would have indeed been for the boy's best interests...so by intention they still were being selfless...I wouldn't label their thoughts as selfish...or even the case you described...the dad prolly thought that being a doctor was the best option for his son...
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Its one thing to think that you know the right answer. Its another to be pig-headed about it. Whether its being selfish or stupid, bottom line is, its irrational.
If you impart such bad decision-making skills on your child that he goes off doing narcotics and murder, then yes, the parent can do some introspection on where they went wrong. But, if you groomed reasonably intelligent children, to try to micro-manage their careers or family life, is basically admitting that you did a lousy job in bringing them up. The two cases in point above, that, parents don't always know the best. Their intentions may be ok, but its not necessary that you should accept everything they say, without thinking it over.
Those kids who do that, typically end up with poor decision-making skills for the rest of their lives. Also they have a problem owning up to their mistakes and constantly try to find someone else to blame for their mistakes. And thats only natural because they have never been empowered to make their own decisions and then take responsibility for those. Thats not my ideal of a well-rounded individual. And thats why after a certain age, the parents need to gradually loosen up their grip on their children to let them stand on their own two feet. However, it doesn't mean to abandon them completely. It means to keep open friendly channels of communications so the kids feel free to seek advice on important matters, and to have fresh, selfless, perspective available on life's issues. If the kids chose not to follow the advice after all, that their choice. Parents should not hold them against their child.
Well you can’t really divulge every single sorry detail about your life to your parents. They can’t be friends because they’re parents and no matte how friendly they want to be, that parent-child distance is always there. Parents are never happy for their children, I think. By that I mean that they always want better for their kids than what the kids already have. That is just the nature of being parents. They don’t care to compromise on matters and therefore feel that it’s either their way or the highway.
It’s a challenge to make your parents look at matters from your point of view. If you can successfully take on that challenge and converse with them to have them come around to your point of view, it’ll make both sides cotent. Otherwise, a kid of gap is left which needs to be closed through further dialogue or whatnot.
[QUOTE] Originally posted by ~NiQ@Bi~: *
**I have yet to see a parent whose *intentions were selfish...This sounds dramatic lol but the day I see that, it will greatly reduce my faith in humanity...**
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i am sorry to say, i trust this will NOT reduce your faith in humanity...but believe me, examples of the above do exist where motivations have been "selfish".
:~) i think that is a case in the minority, though, so don't let that reduce your faith in humanity.
i am sorry to say, i trust this will NOT reduce your faith in humanity...but believe me, examples of the above do exist where motivations have been "selfish".
:~) i think that is a case in the minority, though, so don't let that reduce your faith in humanity.
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Yaar after all this talk of parents…now I REALLY MISS MY PARENTS 
