Parenting In a Joint Family

[_MuNiYa]

Re: Parenting In a Joint Family

No way - my mother would never do everything for my son.
She would complain to the whole world about how she's handling him.

She even complained before he came -- about how she was oging to be "stuck" watching the kid when he comes.

I dont agree with that Heera yaar.. In my case atleast I agree that she's doing it out of love but she'll never assume full responsibility.

[SaadiaB]

Re: Parenting In a Joint Family

And donot forget even if the parents have raised us, they have forgatten most of it, or most of is outdated, like making the head of the child or giving honey at birth ... so they can claim they know so much, try giving them the baby for one day and go away ... they will beg u to come back and say. ... 'how do u cope with the baby, it was so hard' .. :D of course with a little bigger kids, for grandparents its much better to cope with as with a baby by that time they stop giving advice. hehe

[Gr8Heera]

No way - my mother would never do everything for my son. She would complain to the whole world about how she's handling him.

She even complained before he came -- about how she was oging to be "stuck" watching the kid when he comes.

I dont agree with that Heera yaar.. In my case atleast I agree that she's doing it out of love but she'll never assume full responsibility.

Ha ha. I understand that. As my mom didn't like one or her daughter yes she could do the thing as you said but for my other sister and even her poties she loved them more than her nawasa and nawasi. Her poties wer her jaan.

So it means your mom don't like you or may be she has some problem with you.

let her do like tah his kapray like that at least involve her in things which she would love to do that like keep her away or involved in some other things of him when you are with your son.

Ask your sister or brother to help you. Kay aap ki ammi ko samjhain that will help too a lot as Nikki said it and I use to do that too. When my mom had some problem with my sister or bhabhi and she use to tell me things then I use to samjha her.

[_MuNiYa]

@Gr8Heera

So it means your mom don’t like you or may be she has some problem with you.

.

Thats great to know.

Thanks.

[amana]

LOL at some of the replies here....

My oldest three are preteens and teens now, and it doesn't get any easier, unfortunately. When I tell my kids no, they ask their grandparents, who then happily say yes (sometimes just to annoy me). My MIL goes out of her way to undermine a lot of what I do and say, particularly with my daughters. My daughters all play sports, so my MIL tells them that it is haraam and that they are bad muslims. I tell them not to eat something, so she feeds it to them. We have very different perspectives on raising children, and to be honest it is so much easier when she is not in my home. I now have three girls who are worried that they are turning black and a son who thinks that his sisters need to do more for him and tries to get out of doing his chores.

Just three more weeks to go!

[Niksik]

Re: Parenting In a Joint Family

Niki didi gram tail kaan kay parday naheen pharti lol. They have logics and that work too but as you don’t know so you don’t understand.

I always use to ask my mom why you do this and that and what are the reasons and she use to tell me and most of the time I use to think what might be reason as sometimes she wasn’t able to tell what was the reason behind doing that as she didn’t ever asked her parents what they did and why. So I use to think myself. Somtimes I explained her why they do that.

As my mom was expert in telling which child the lady is going to have after looking at the lady’s belly and she use to tell her father use to give some water with sura mariam and something to put on the navel and something during the labour and that process become easy and quick but she didn’t learn and haven’t ask that.

Niki didi agar kaan main keera chala jaay ya mail nikalna ho to neem garam tail bohat kar amad hota hai aur bohat asan bhi yeah I checked it. It sure work. You can clean your ears by putting tail in your ears no need of cotton but and spend your time. Tail will bring mail and even kill a keera makora in your to ease you.

Lemme tell you about this teyl example. See people back home do it. No problem. It works and all. But my friend did it here when her kid was crying of what seemed like an ear infection. her mom told her to put warm oil, she did. But the kid cried even harder. They went to the doc. Doctor asked them what happened, she told the whole story including how she put some warm oil with a dropper in the ear. The doctor was like then and said that you could have damaged the child’s ear. You should never put anything in a kid’s ear even a Qtip at that age! Now, he could have denied treatment or whatever, but he prescribed an antibiotoc and eventually the kid got OK. It’s not the oil that is the problem but the fact that a complication can occur leading to mis diagnosis or an aggravated situation. You see what I’m saying?

But that was just an example. Here’s another example. Honey. Here, the docs say a big no no to giving an infant honey before age 1. Back home, we give honey all the time. The thing is that honey may be harmless, but because it’s in their medical system that is how they work and we have to work with them.

[Gr8Heera]

@Niksik

Lemme tell you about this teyl example. See people back home do it. No problem. It works and all. But my friend did it here when her kid was crying of what seemed like an ear infection. her mom told her to put warm oil, she did. But the kid cried even harder. They went to the doc. Doctor asked them what happened, she told the whole story including how she put some warm oil with a dropper in the ear. The doctor was like then and said that you could have damaged the child’s ear. You should never put anything in a kid’s ear even a Qtip at that age! Now, he could have denied treatment or whatever, but he prescribed an antibiotoc and eventually the kid got OK. It’s not the oil that is the problem but the fact that a complication can occur leading to mis diagnosis or an aggravated situation. You see what I’m saying?

But that was just an example. Here’s another example. Honey. Here, the docs say a big no no to giving an infant honey before age 1. Back home, we give honey all the time. The thing is that honey may be harmless, but because it’s in their medical system that is how they work and we have to work with them.

Aww Nikki did. I’ve been around doctors and also work for them too and I also have some kind of hakimi degree lol.

Doctors also do tukkas in prescribing. Read books you will find many dawa for many symptions yes they do tukka too find if that doesn’t work they choose other.

Who knows what problem child might have. Or who knows how much tail was hot.

What I heard from my mom was good and perfect. As doctors still don’t have cure or ilaaj for many bemaries so do the old things doesn’t cure or help in everything.