Parents,
Do you raise your babies and toddlers by the book, or do you use a more freestyle approach?
This could be in terms of what they eat and drink, how to reprimand them, etc.
I’ve seen a few moms go by the book and religiously following everythign that they read, and then I’ve seen other moms at the opposite end of the spectrum and they go with the flow.
Discuss.
Re: Parenting By the Book
I tried the text book parenting but failed miserably.. thank God and my dear husband who put sense into me and I got out of within 6 weeks after birth! I wont say that I have done the exact opposite to prove my point or anything like that but just because I decided to follow my child's cues to make our lives easy. Alhamdulillah I had an easy newborn to begin with so I wasnt overwhelmed and didnt think too much about anything.. like for example, I had him sleeping in our bed until he himself decided that he was more comfortable in crib at 4 months..I never forced anything on him!
We will be starting solids soon and inshaAllah I plan to follow his cues on that too.
I do consult books and google looking for advice but then make it work around my child! so far, so good!
Re: Parenting By the Book
how did he decide himself that he was more comfortable in the crib?
Re: Parenting By the Book
free style approach.... i just try to understand my baby needs n how n what she wants follow tht..... i dont have any hard n fast rules follow which suites my baby best.... yes for help i do check books n internet
Re: Parenting By the Book
how did he decide himself that he was more comfortable in the crib?
he was tossing and turning in our bed.. he would wake up if one of us moved.. he was sleeping peacefully in his crib for his naps so I started putting him in for night time as well and if I brought him to the bed, he woke up.. that told me that decision is his'.. and crib it is!
Re: Parenting By the Book
Books are there just to give a guideline,IMO.I do read up stuff (print,online),but I go by what I feel is right and what my child wants or tells now that she is older.
Honestly speaking,I very well know there are quite a few things I am doing with my 2 yo which might be no-no's or not the preferred way in books,but this is what works for us.I know it is not something detrimental so I am fine with it.
Re: Parenting By the Book
Our parenting is very free style. NO by the book approach here.
Re: Parenting By the Book
Based on my brief time as a parent:
Honestly, I think going by the book results in really stressed out parents. Because kids don't respond "by the book," you always feel like you're doing something wrong or there is something wrong with the kid. But if you just looked and listened to the kid in front of you, you might realize that s/he is happy and healthy. What else should we expect?
I think going by the book and the experts and the rules made me forget to really pay attention to my child. Only the child can really communicate what she needs, and if I listen to all her cues, I will be able to figure it out. When I realized that, I became a much more relaxed parent.
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I consult books/sites/experts when I need help and notice there is a concern/issue. Or if I am just plain out of ideas. Otherwise I don't bother anymore.
I do the same read the books, consult aunty Google, and talk to other parents but in the end I try to listen to my child's cues and also try to incorporate things that have worked for my parents and inlaws. Bas Allah karey our kids turn out good InshAllah. Aameen
Re: Parenting By the Book
First baby- a mixture of text book and common sense plus going with the flow at times.
Second baby- less text book, more common sense and going with the flow.
Third baby - what text book? Very very laid back parenting.
Re: Parenting By the Book
I just do what I think is right and what works. I do like to read but everything isn't always black and white.
Re: Parenting By the Book
i do whatever i feel like..... but when it comes to kids health and sickness, i do like to follow old people suggestions n remedies....
Re: Parenting By the Book
I’m writing my own book 
Re: Parenting By the Book
Ordered first copy for my wife…:k:
Re: Parenting By the Book
Phele wife ko tu anay do
Re: Parenting By the Book
I did everything by the book with my son and was successful because my child was very cooperative UNTIL he turned 18 months old then I realized that toddlers don't follow any rules! He started doing the opposite of what I had taught him and some of his good habits are just gone as if I never taught him. It's getting very frustrating as I always relied on books/articles on internet for tips on how to handle my child and all of a sudden NOTHING is working. :(
Re: Parenting By the Book
I so know that feeling. 
Just stay patient and balance discipline with hugs :D. There are a few threads about toddlers and terrible twos and tantrums. I know they helped me!
Re: Parenting By the Book
i always mainted a routine from day 1...wasn't sooo uber strict but i followed a pattern every day around the same time and worked around that - roughly gina ford but not totally as shes so anal....
it helped me and baby settle, don't think id be a calm mother if id feed/bath/nap baby willy nilly..timings are sooo important...
even now when bubloo is 2 there is routine and it maintains calmness, less tantrums etc, and if someone is babysitting i just write/tell them what to follow and bubloo is happy too..
Parenting By the Book
Every baby is different. You can not really follow books rigidly. I use book for some help and guidance or to get sone questioned answered by the experts. Can't always rely on information online. I know my baby well. I know what is going to work for him or for our lifestyle. Baby's personality, mom's personality, their lifestyle and mother's instinct counts the most. Books are just for general guideline. If even that general guidance doesn't work for you then it doesn't work. I mean you can not impose it on your baby. Babies do not read books in the womb on how to be a perfect baby
Re: Parenting By the Book
books were my enemies. i didnt have an easy baby.. and he was not at all a textbook baby! he would do something and i would go racing to a parenting guide or internet to find answers... it would all go wrong..
all i had to do was... trust my instincts and follow his hints. things really settled down after i learned to do that..
and the clock .. i should have thrown it out the window... it gave me so much anxiety its not even funny... how why did he sleep thi slong today.. he didnt sleep this long yesterday.. or how do i fit in solids and milk in this much amount of time cuz thats how fast or slow he should be doing it..
whatever
your baby is your best guide. by all means read up on parenting if you want.. but dont thrust that knowledge on your baby.. who is an individual and not afraid of showing it :D