Do you think your parents have raised you the way you would like to raise your kids? Did anything get missed? Do you think they could have done a better job? If something got missed do you blame them for that?
Are you and your parents people from different worlds or are you guys very close?
I think my parents raised us fairly well, Alhumdulillah, although I am sure there are some things they would have liked me to take more seriously(and done differently) and there are things that I would have liked for them to have done differently. Overall, no real complaints. I dont blame them for things that were potentially missed. I think I'd be a terrible parent in that I'd probably be too soft with my kids.
I am getting closer to my parents, thats the best way to put it. Insha'Allah.
No
Yes
Yes
No
Different
No (although some parts I would consider)
Yes
Yes
No
Different (closer to mom)
Re: Parenting 101
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by BoSS: *
Do you think your parents have raised you the way you would like to raise your kids? Did anything get missed? Do you think they could have done a better job? If something got missed do you blame them for that?
Are you and your parents people from different worlds or are you guys very close?
[/QUOTE]
Somewhat ( there are certain things i'd like to do different while raising my kids).
yes. ( parents are not perfect.)
No, ( I am sure they did their best as much as they cud).
No, ( I'd never blame them for anything, they always looked after my best interest in whatever decisions they made).
There are certain things which set us apart but i am closer to both of my parents especially my mom.
No( I am in favour of my dad's ways but mom.. no ways)
Yes
Yes( atleast my mom could have)
In a way yes.
I am the exact opposite of my mom, whereas I am very much like my dad.
No.
Yes.
No...seriously my siblings & i are quite difficult to handle...i just hope my kids dont give as much of a hard time as we gave my parents. they could have actually done a better job but its tough eh,whats done is done.
No. they did what they thought was best...even if i or most other ppl disagreed so not really, i wouldnt blame them.
No...we arent from totally different worlds, its sometimes hard to make them understand my point of view coz sometimes they just become so conservative but we get along fine. i am really close to both my parents, dad understands me better,love them both.
My response is the same as Munnis ..hmm maybe her folks and my folks went to the same parenting school
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
My response is the same as Munnis ..hmm maybe her folks and my folks went to the same parenting school
[/QUOTE]
keke. grin
One thing I see common among the replies is that we all feel that if our parents had done certain things differently it would have helped us in one way or the other however, no one is really “blaming” them for the job they have done. Maybe its not appropriate to point fingers…Its mature to let things go…maybe it’s the love factor.. what ever the reason may be… we let our folks go easy. I am not suggesting that we should start complaining but it is wise to impartially analyze and see how you can do a better job or realize the significance of this job before u taken it on.
Since the beginning of time every Joe-shmoe has been making babies but how many of us really know how to raise one. I know certain individuals who blame their parents for their inhibitions and failures….all their lives. Are those people to be blamed? Maybe… maybe not.
I recently watched this movie Finding Nemo during my flight to Toronto. It’s a story of an overprotective dad-fish whose perspective on life changes after a terrible accident. If things had not shaped the way they did in the movie..he might have instilled fear in his son as well…To me that would have been really unfortunate. If it was up to me I'd make parenting and child psychology mandatory courses in all college/highschool curriculums.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by BoSS: *
One thing I see common among the replies is that we all feel that if our parents had done certain things differently it would have helped us in one way or the other however, no one is really “blaming” them for the job they have done. Maybe its not appropriate to point fingers…Its mature to let things go…maybe it’s the love factor.. what ever the reason may be… we let our folks go easy. I am not suggesting that we should start complaining but it is wise to impartially analyze and see how you can do a better job or realize the significance of this job before u taken it on.
[/QUOTE]
Boss,
the point is why go into details, what happened happened, teh good with the bad and for some it may stay as some unresolved issue, I resolved it with my parents, to a point the things they did wrong, they admit to it that they woukld have done differently. examples could be the strict discipline i had vs my younger siblings, or double promotion or starting school at an earlier age than other kids. Things that although had an impact in one way or the other are in the past. It is not a question to not point fingers or to let them go easy... but these were such miniscule things in the greater scheme of things..that if i look and can really find these as the only things i wish they would have done differently..its almost nothing. And then again..its not some fact..its my perspective, I dont know..i feel now thatmaybe they were too strict at one point..maybe they needed to be, same goes with starting school early and double promotion etc.. i look back and see some of my struggles and feel that they may have been lessened had I been with my age group..but again thats my perspective and in hindsight. I dont know for a fact that things would have been very diff had they acted differently. I had a great time in school, good pals, did well in general..Its now that I look back and wonder that I may ahve done better had i not been moved ahead..
other than that i seriosuly cant find anything that they did wrong in parenting... other aspects of their lives yes..my dad always been teh self sacrificing give teh shirt off his back to anyone who needed it type of guy who had people stuck like leeches to him, not grateful nto thankful..but demanding..my mother who sacrificed so much for ppl who never recognized it..they have their weaknesses or faults as humans..or maybe they are strengths that they can be so humble and giving even to na shukray idiots..I of course am much more assertive in my dealings with ppl and have no time for those parasite type ppl who were a cause fo so much stress for my folks.
But who knows my kids can grow up and think that their dad was too selfish or too insensitive to others..they may get that perception, just as i may be getting a perception of their kindness and generosity as a weakness..
The point being, there are no absolutes here..its my perception of things they could have done differently..as i look back and analyze my childhood..but when i become aware of the complete circumstances of what was going on and why they made certain decisions then i can put myself in their shoes and say..ahhh now i see. Until then..Its me, as an adult, tryingt o look at my childhood, questioning my parents decisions, but still using the knowldge i had back then as a frame of reference.
see what I mean..i am glad that my relationship with my folks is good nuff with my folks that i can candidly discuss it with them, and when theye xplain what all was going on then, its like a light bulb that goes on, and i realize why they did what they did.
Re: Parenting 101
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by BoSS: *
Do you think your parents have raised you the way you would like to raise your kids? Did anything get missed? Do you think they could have done a better job? If something got missed do you blame them for that?
Are you and your parents people from different worlds or are you guys very close?
[/QUOTE]
No, i'll definately raise my kids differently
yeah a few things
yeah i think they prob. could have
no i don't blame them, they did their best
i am very close to my mom, not that close to my dad, but we r still ppl from diff. worlds :)
Re: Re: Parenting 101
for the most part ( there are certain things i'd like to do different while raising my kids).
yes. ( parents are not perfect.)
No, ( I think all parents are trying to do the best they can with no practice or guidelines).
No, ( I'd never blame them for anything, they always looked after my best interest in whatever decisions they made).
There are certain things which set us apart but i am closer to both of my parents especially my mom.
I think my parents did a great job at raising me. If I have any complaints, it’s in that they probably expect too much from me in terms of responsibility BUT I don’t mind it and the reason why they may have alot of expectations from me more so than from my siblings may have to do with the fact that I am the eldest. Other than that, I wish they were more outwardly affectionate with me as they are with my other siblings but again, parents have a way of showing love in different ways.
I love my parents and even though I would raise my children the way I was raised, the difference would be that I would mst likely end up SUPER spoiling the kiddies!!! But then again, that is the trait of a Leo mother anyhow. She is like a lioness when it comes to her cubs.
